The Beauty Within the Gates
Chapter 84
Usually, whenever she smiled, others could not help but feel happy along with her. But this time, no one could feel happy. Their hearts ached with a sour, bittersweet pain.
Aunt Qing, standing behind Xie Shao, felt relieved at seeing her back safe, but the sight of her like this only made her heart hurt more. She turned her head away and continued wiping her tears.
The once lively, lantern-lit entrance was blocked by a long line of lamplight, yet not a single person made a sound.
Xie Shao’s wound was still healing. Having hurried out in such haste, the wound on his shoulder blade had already begun to ache faintly. But at this moment, how could he still care about that bit of pain? His eyes were filled only with his little wife.
He walked down the steps and went toward her, step by step.
Only then did Wen Shuse react. Her expression panicked. “Husband, why did you come out? Hurry and go lie back down. Didn’t the imperial physician say you couldn’t get out of bed for half a month…”
“Everyone, withdraw.” Xie Shao turned back and dismissed the people behind him.
Now that they knew she had returned safe and sound, everyone’s hearts settled. One by one, they filed back past the threshold, leaving only her husband facing his young lady.
Wen Shuse had originally planned to come back earlier, wait at the mouth of the alley for a while, and enter the residence right before or after Second Madam. She had not expected Second Madam to arrive ahead of her. Seeing this situation, she guessed they must have gone out to look for her. Knowing she had probably caused trouble, she looked at her husband as he approached and hurriedly said, “Husband, I’m sorry. I forgot the time and was delayed too long, making you all worry…”
Her husband stood before her and interrupted softly, “Where did you go?”
Wen Shuse lifted the food box in her arms and waved it at him, still wearing a cheerful smile. “Yesterday, when I passed by Old Cao Gate, I caught a whiff of something delicious, but I didn’t know where it came from, so I went out today to look for it. Minzhang was right. Little shops hidden deep in alleyways don’t necessarily taste worse than restaurants. I tried it, and it was very good. Husband has eaten food from Zuixian Tower for several days now, so you’re probably tired of it. Try this…”
Xie Shao kept staring at her. “Why did you go out?”
Wen Shuse had already prepared an excuse, but now she did not know how much her husband knew. She could only brace herself and say, “I originally went out to deliver silver to Mother, but when I found the place, Mother had already left.”
Xie Shao exposed her mercilessly. “Second Madam never asked you to deliver any silver at all.”
So, he knew everything.
Wen Shuse lowered her head and could only admit her mistake. “Husband, I was wrong. I wanted to slack off and sneak out for a stroll. Next time, I’ll listen to you and never go back again.”
She had made up a whole explanation, but he was still not satisfied and exposed her without mercy. “Mother said you missed me.”
Wen Shuse’s heart gave a faint tug, and the smile on her face stiffened slightly. Since she could no longer muddle through, she could only nod and admit it. “Yes, but Husband was busy, so I didn’t disturb you.”
“So, you went off alone to the streets?” Xie Shao asked softly, then explained, “Second Princess and I grew up together in childhood. In earlier years, she had feelings for me. I received her because I regarded her as a friend, with no other intention.”
Wen Shuse nodded. “Husband has misunderstood. I do not mind. I truly only went out for a stroll…”
Xie Shao held tightly to her words and refused to let go. “What have I misunderstood?”
The way he was digging to the root of it, determined to ask about her state of mind, meant he had probably heard something from Aunt Qing.
Though she had lost her mother when she was young, the painstaking care Grandmother and Father had put into her had not been any less than what others received. Since childhood, she had been taught according to the rules of a young lady from a respectable family. Naturally, she understood what was proper and improper for a wife.
Today, running out rashly had indeed been improper of her, but she would not do it again in the future.
Wen Shuse tried to ease his mind. “Husband is now an official of the court. In the future, there will be so many people you must deal with. Today, Second Princess remembered her friendship with you and came to visit. It was only proper for you to receive her warmly. If I were to take even this to heart, then when you truly take another young lady into the household in the future, wouldn’t I become a jealous wife?”
Beneath the carriage canopy, a goat-horn lantern cast a dim, blurred glow, falling lightly at the corners of her eyes. Her eyes held a smile and openness, yet they no longer had the expectation and joy from earlier that day, when she had hurried back to see her husband.
What kind of temperament she had, Xie Shao had long since figured out. The words she spoke were surely what she truly thought in her heart.
She had gone out alone for several hours, and what she had come up with was this complete mess. Was she trying to retreat, to never concern herself with him again?
The wound at his shoulder blade hurt, but his heart hurt even more. He asked her in a low voice, “Is that truly how you feel? If I bring another young lady home, you would agree to it?”
Wen Shuse nodded in agreement. “Yes. Once Husband becomes a powerful minister of the highest rank, having three wives and four concubines will be perfectly normal. As your wife, I ought to be magnanimous, to rejoice in what brings you joy and favor what you favor. Husband…”
This was the future she had imagined for herself. Xie Shao truly could not bear to listen any longer and cut her off. “Wen Shuse, speak properly.”
After wandering for most of the night, browsing countless little stalls, and buying an entire carriage of things, she thought she had already figured it out. Yet now, under her husband’s questioning, her heart still ached faintly.
But what could she do?
A person like her husband was born noble, born in the Eastern Capital. From the moment he came into the world, those he knew were imperial relatives and nobles. What could she possibly use to compete? She feared no amount of tears would be enough.
Second Madam had only been half right last night. Whether a woman could live a happy and fulfilled life depended mostly on her husband, but not entirely.
Half of it still depended on what she chose for herself.
She did not want to live like Yao Shiniang. She had thought it through. Even if, in the future, her husband had a whole crowd of pretty women around him, she could not shed tears anymore.
It would not look good, and it would make her die faster.
She lifted her head to look at her husband and said firmly, “Everything I said is true.”
Xie Shao had finally, with great difficulty, caught hold of this ten-thousand-year turtle just as she stretched her head out. Before he even had the chance to see what she looked like, she had already shrunk back in again, stubborn as a dead duck and refusing to admit anything.
A century-old iron tree had finally bloomed; a tender sprout had only just emerged. How could he possibly let her snap it off? If he missed tonight, she would tuck her head back into her shell again and never expose her heart to him anymore.
He would not give her another chance to retreat. “Wen Shuse, I’m asking you. When I spoke with Second Princess today, did you feel upset?”
Before she could answer, Xie Shao blocked off her excuse to argue. “You cannot lie.”
“Mm.” Wen Shuse nodded.
In the future, she would try her best to control it. If she could not control it, then out of sight, out of mind.
Xie Shao said again, “This robe I’m wearing, did you make it with your own hands, for me?”
Wen Shuse froze. Only then did she notice the robe he was wearing. Bright sapphire-blue satin, with a few simple bamboo joints embroidered along the lapel. It was indeed the one she had made. She did not know how it had ended up on him, and just as she was feeling puzzled, she heard the man before her say, “I snatched it from Minzhang.”
Wen Shuse looked at him in astonishment.
“I was jealous. Jealous that the first new garment my wife prepared was not for me. This afternoon, I put it on and waited for my wife to return, wanting to ask whether, aside from the feelings between husband and wife, is there a place for me in your heart?”
Before this, he had scolded her countless times in his heart for being blind and heartless, resenting her for not seeing his sincerity, for wasting such a pair of beautiful eyes.
But now, how was he any different?
She had accompanied him all the way from Fengcheng. At the critical moment between life and death, she had disregarded the danger to her own life and turned back without hesitation to save him. If that was not feeling, then what was?
What more did he still want?
Looking at the dazed little wife before him, he felt both heartache and relief. He stretched out his arm and gently embraced her, surrendering completely, laying his heart bare as he spoke to her in a slow, soft voice.
“Second Wen, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day. I wanted you to fall in love with me, wanted you to keep me in your heart, wanted you to look at me a little longer, to stay by my side and speak only to me. But every time I tried to bring it up with you, you could always steer the conversation off to the ends of the earth.” He tilted his head and continued, “So many times, I wanted to cut open your heart and see whether I was inside it or not.”
“I finally managed to talk myself into understanding things that I liked you, and that I did not need you to respond. But then you suddenly let me see a glimmer of hope. I’m happy, so happy that my wife also had me in her heart.”
Seeing that she had not moved for a long while, he loosened his hold slightly, lowered his head to look into her eyes, and coaxed her softly. “Today, I was waiting for my wife too. I started waiting from morning.”
Wen Shuse’s mind, which had originally been perfectly clear, was stirred into chaos by him again.
Being told such heartfelt words by her husband she liked made it very difficult for her not to be moved. Her heart, which had calmed, was once again provoked into a mess, thudding wildly as she lost all sense of direction for a moment.
She lifted her head and looked at him. Their eyes met for a long moment.
When she had not seen her husband, it had been easy for her to make up her mind alone. But now that she had seen him and had even been lured by him with these words, the balance in her heart had already tipped to one side.
Then had all the grief and mental effort she had spent this whole afternoon not been for nothing?
The more she looked, the more she felt something was not right. It was clearly a deeply affectionate confession, but paired with her husband’s face, one that attracted bees and butterflies, it seemed exactly like a sugar-coated cannonball.
She suddenly turned her head away, and her heart grew even more tangled.
Xie Shao saw the emotion in her eyes, and before he could even let out a breath of relief, he saw her turn her head aside again, leaving him with only half her profile.
His heart inexplicably tightened. At this point, he no longer cared about face at all and coaxed her in a low voice. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been speaking with someone else when my wife returned. You may punish me however you like, but you cannot stop caring about me.”
He sounded so wronged that Wen Shuse froze, then turned back to look at him again. Her husband’s eyes were deep, and there was actually a trace of redness at the bottom of them.
What was he doing?
A sourness rose at the tip of her nose. Wen Shuse pouted, looking troubled. “But I… I only just managed to persuade myself back down. Now that Husband has said this, I’ll have to think again…”
The moment her words fell, her husband let go of her, took the food box and two wine jars from her arms, and stood before her. “Then think, Wife. I’ll wait for you.”
This was not something she could figure out in such a short while. She had to slowly weigh the risks. Where there was hope, there would be disappointment. If things went badly, she might end up bruised and bloodied, unknowingly becoming another Yao Shiniang. Wen Shuse was still rather troubled. “I…”
Xie Shao pressed her step by step. “Wife should think quickly. It’s getting late. We still need to bathe, change clothes, and rest early.”
This plain and obvious hint from him carried a great sense of willing self-degradation, as if he were prepared to sacrifice himself. Wen Shuse stared at him in shock, her face burning with a whoosh, her head hot and dizzy.
It was not as though she was that lustful…
“Shameless.”
Just as Wen Shuse did not know what to do, a voice suddenly came from behind the residence gate. Second Madam, who had been eavesdropping for quite a while, could no longer bear it. “Daughter-in-law, hurry inside. The wind outside is strong out here. Don’t let some shameless, freakish breeze soften your ears.”
As soon as these words came out, the two people outside the gate instantly stiffened and had no reaction.
Whether or not the wind had softened the young lady’s ears was unknown, but her husband’s face had indeed flushed completely red.
Never had he seen parents act like this.
They absolutely could not continue putting on a show for others to watch. He pulled his little wife by the hand and quickly entered the courtyard, momentarily forgetting that his arm still hurt. Once inside, he set down the food box and wine jars, then stood beneath the lamp, intending to continue arguing things through with his little wife.
But Wen Shuse saw that at the position of his shoulder blade, spots of blood had already seeped through the robe outside.
This wound had been healing for three to five days, and only with great difficulty had it stopped bleeding. If anything happened now, she would not be able to escape responsibility. She hurriedly pulled him to the bedside and began undoing his robe for him. “Husband, don’t move.”
Xie Shao had also noticed the bloodstains. It still hurt, of course, but his heart was still being held in suspense by his little wife. Today, no matter what, he wanted her to give him a clear answer. Staring at her, he asked, “Have you thought it through?”
The young lady ignored him and continued undoing his robe. “Let me look at Husband’s wound first.”
Since she would not answer, and having learned from past experience, he began interpreting things on his own. “My wife still cares about me.”
Wen Shuse’s whole mind was on his injury. Once she removed his outer robe, she subconsciously tossed it aside. Xie Shao, quick-eyed and quick-handed, bent down and snatched it back with his injured arm. “Don’t throw it…”
With that bend and exertion, the large patch of blood on his inner garment became even more obvious.
Seeing the fine sweat breaking out on his forehead, Wen Shuse quickly helped him to his feet. “Does Husband not want his life anymore?”
Once a person had cast aside his face once, he would simply give up on himself and grow even worse. “I don’t. If I nearly lost my wife, what do I still need my life for?”
Wen Shuse had no heart to joke with him. The gauze had already been soaked through with blood across more than half of it. She urgently called Minzhang in, and together the two of them changed his medicine.
The imperial physician had come earlier that day to drain more congealed blood. Fortunately, only the incised wound had split back open.
After the medicine was changed and fresh white gauze was wrapped around him, Minzhang withdrew. The moment he left, her husband began again. “Just give me a clear answer. With something weighing on my heart like this, even my wound will heal slowly.”
He turned his head and asked Wen Shuse with perfect seriousness, “Have you heard the phrase ‘pining to death’? Many times, people are not tormented to death by illness, but trapped to death by their own hearts. Of life’s three great sorrows: meeting those ones resents, parting from those loves, and longing for what one cannot obtain. I wonder which one I count as…”
Having spent so much time with her husband, she had seen his resourceful, calm, and composed side, and she had also seen his cunning, slippery side. But as a person, he had always been open and upright, respectful of rules, and had never done anything shameless.
She was somewhat caught off guard and did not know how to respond to him.
Xie Shao swept a glance over her shocked expression and thought inwardly, What? Is only his little wife allowed to set fires, while I’m not allowed to light a lamp?
This was nothing. He had merely picked up a fraction of her tricks.
He suddenly clutched his chest and drew in a difficult breath, as if enduring some immense pain.
The young lady noticed at once and hurried forward, anxiously asking, “Does Husband’s wound still hurt?”
Xie Shao shook his head. “It doesn’t hurt.”
One look was enough to know he was being stubborn. The young lady did not believe him. “I saw Husband’s forehead sweating.”
That was exactly what he wanted her to see. The man on the bed said weakly, “This isn’t from the wound hurting.”
Wen Shuse froze. “Does Husband hurt somewhere else?”
As soon as she finished speaking, she saw him lift a finger and point toward the place over his heart. “I fear it might be a heart condition. The pain is unbearable.” Even his brows furrowed.
Wen Shuse had never seen a heart condition before, but she knew her own grandfather had passed away from such an illness. She had heard from Grandmother that when it flared up, it was extremely uncomfortable.
She asked nervously, “When did Husband start having this? Did the imperial physician not examine it together with your wound when he came today?”
“I didn’t have it before. It only started today.”
Wen Shuse watched him for a while and understood. She feared that if she did not give in today, he could torment her the whole night. “Then, if I promise Husband that I’ll continue loving you, will Husband’s heart condition be cured?”
Xie Shao turned his head. Knowing he had been exposed by her, he was not ashamed either. His lips curved into a smile. The heart ailment was fake, but the pain was real, and his complexion was somewhat pale. “Thank you, Wife, for your kindness. This husband will certainly not fail your sincerity.”
People said a beauty on a sickbed had a charm all its own. A handsome husband, when ill, was much the same.
Not only had he lost his usual vigor, but even his usual cleverness seemed gone. After the medicine had been changed, he simply did not put his clothes back on, lying there with a weak and sickly appearance, as if he could be handled however she wished.
Since he had already shown weakness to her like this, what else could she do?
After Wen Shuse glanced at him twice, her heart trembled. She despised herself greatly. So, the city wall she had built with tears over most of the day had collapsed just like that.
In truth, she really was not such a petty person.
“Xie…” She tried calling him once, but the word “Brother” was truly impossible to spit out. Terms like brother and sister were not something everyone could say so easily.
“How could Husband possibly fail me? Following you, I only have the share of basking in your glory. Before marrying you, I never imagined I would have such a fortune. I’ve actually become Second Princess’s sister now.” She looked at her husband, her gaze full of anticipation and excitement. “Does that mean I count as a member of the imperial family now?”
The man on the bed had just been immersed in blissful happiness, only to be dragged back out of his beautiful dream by this one sentence of hers.
When she teased people, she did not hold back in the slightest.
But he actually rather enjoyed this feeling of being questioned by her. Compared with that angry speech she had given outside the door earlier, this made his heart feel much more settled.
Why did she care so much? Because she had him in her heart.
When people encountered happy events, their heads were most prone to muddling, and they also liked making promises to others. “You don’t need to envy her. In the future, your husband will earn you an official title of honor. Wouldn’t that be more impressive than her?”