The Beauty Within the Gates
Chapter 83
Under the night lamp, those eyes looked at her darkly and quietly, deep as the sea. Within them was a faint trace of disappointment that was somehow both subtle and intense, as if she had seduced him and then abandoned him.
Wen Shuse’s heart warmed, and she blurted out, “I can.”
She did not know what had gotten into him today, but she could do this. Meeting his increasingly deep gaze, she assured him again, “I can. I will keep Husband in my heart.”
She had the generous air of someone acting out of righteousness, as though there was nothing under the heavens she could not solve. The frustration in his heart rose up again. This time, however, he did not let her off. Even if she were a piece of rotten wood, he would still dig all the way into her heart. “Then tell me. How will you keep me there?”
How?
For a moment, she could not say.
“Does Husband want to eat candied hawthorn?” He probably would not like it. “It’s too sweet. Mother doesn’t like eating it, and I don’t like it either. What does Husband like to eat? Tomorrow, I’ll buy it for you.”
So, this was what she meant by keeping him in her heart.
“I have never been greedy for food.”
This, Wen Shuse did believe. After he had “fallen into poverty,” it had only been the first two meals that he was unused to. After that, he had never been picky again. He ate coarse grain without complaint, too.
Since he did not like food, Wen Shuse leaned closer and asked him softly, “Then what does Husband like?”
Things were different now. The present was not like the past. They had already endured the bitter days. As long as it was something Husband wanted, she could satisfy him.
She was always utterly unguarded with him. On the surface, she seemed to be the warm and proactive one, but once one drew closer, one would discover that inside, she was hollow.
Cold enough to freeze a man to death.
What did he like? Could she still not see?
It was precisely this face, stirring his heart into unrest day after day. Although he had not seen her during the day, the moment he closed his eyes, she was everywhere.
And her? Was he just someone she could take or leave?
Xie Shao did not answer her. His gaze fell deeply on his little wife’s face, only five fingers’ distance away. He made no attempt to hide the affection in his eyes. If she wanted to be proud, wanted to be pleased with herself, then let her be happy…
He laid his heart bare for her to see, fearlessly.
Whether she treasured it or trampled it, he no longer cared. In any case, he had already been held in the young lady’s palm. There was no saving him now.
Wen Shuse stared at him blankly.
What did this expression of his mean…
Since their marriage, the two of them had quarreled and fussed countless times, but she had never seen him look at her with such eyes. She could not describe the feeling. She only felt that those eyes were like a vast ocean. They did not frighten her, yet they slowly drew her in, making her sink. Her heart was so nervous it seemed about to leap out, yet her body could not move in the slightest.
After looking for a long while, the surprise and confusion in her gaze slowly began to drift, sinking together with the deep sea in his eyes.
A moment later, when the young master slightly lifted his chin, she actually lowered her head and leaned down to meet him.
The instant their lips touched, the chaos in her heart forced her to close her eyes.
This time, Xie Shao did not give her any chance to escape. He reached out and firmly pressed his hand to the back of her head. At first, as their lips tangled, there was still trembling and caution, and she could feel his tenderness. Later, however, it gradually slipped out of control.
He poured out all the neglect he had suffered these past few days, all his longing for his little wife. He used too much force, even tugging at the wound on his other shoulder.
But he could no longer care. He did not want his life. He only wanted his little wife.
From the low, broken whimpers that sounded again and again between her lips and teeth, he slowly filled that empty heart of his. At last, he found a small measure of steadiness again. Slowly, he loosened his strength, withdrew from the sweetness between her pearly teeth, and looked at his little wife with dark, lingering eyes, still far from satisfied.
The young lady’s expression did not look very good either.
Her lips had been kissed into a deep crimson, and her eyes, misty with moisture, shimmered as if veiled in clouds, tears glistening at the corners.
A wave of heat surged through him. He suppressed it with great effort, gently brushed her cheek, then pressed his fingers beneath her chin and asked in a hoarse voice, “Will you still go accompany Second Madam tomorrow?”
Wen Shuse was panting, her mind in chaos, completely disoriented.
That brief, fierce kiss back in the village had nearly faded from her memory with time. But today’s long session of kissing brought it all back.
She hadn’t known that two people’s mouths could do so many different things when kissing. The way her husband moved his tongue was enough to make one blush and one’s heart race.
It was like doing something forbidden, a thrill and stirring that only the two of them could understand.
The kissing itself was overwhelming, but a faint, fluttering pull in her chest kept drawing her in. In her dazed state, she had even felt a surge of impulse—a desire to be melded together with him.
What was wrong with her?
She was a respectable young lady.
Wen Shuse finally understood what he meant by “like”.
She was shy and nervous… but in the place deep within her heart that she did not want anyone, including her husband, to see, she had no choice but to admit that she seemed to like it a little too.
This was far too difficult to handle.
She had already made plans with Mother for tomorrow. They were to continue looking at fabrics for quilts and bed curtains. It would probably keep her busy for another day, perhaps even two…
Fortunately, she now knew what he wanted. Wen Shuse said, “Husband, I understand now how to keep Husband in my heart. Tomorrow, when I come back, we…”
In the end, she was still a young lady. Her face burned as though flames were licking across it. She turned her head away and finished that shameless sentence.
“We’ll continue kissing tomorrow.”
After dropping that explosive sentence, she rose and hurried off to the washroom, leaving Xie Shao alone, struggling and sinking in a sea of raging flames and heat.
Whatever he had meant to say earlier no longer mattered. His little wife had shoved him into another great pit. He could not struggle free, nor did he want to.
—
The next day, the young lady was still taken away by Second Madam.
First, they went to several shops to choose fabric for mattresses and quilts. In the past, even if a pile of patterns looked almost identical, she could still tell the differences at a glance and pick out the one she liked.
But today, for some reason, everything she looked at seemed the same.
The moment her fingers brushed across the smooth silk, her husband’s voice rang beside her ear.
“Little wife…”
Last night, after she finished washing and bathing and lay down beside her husband, just as she was about to close her eyes, he suddenly asked her again, “What time will you come back tomorrow?”
She answered, “Very soon.”
After pausing for a while, she finally detected some hint from his words. Thinking back on all his behavior, she turned her head and asked him, “Husband, did you miss me today?”
After a while, her husband finally gave a sound from his throat. “Mm.”
Before she could react, an arm reached over, slid under the back of her neck, and pulled her into his embrace.
“Sleep.”
Knowing that he was injured, she was afraid of touching him. She curled up into a ball, her arm braced against his waist. “Husband, be careful of your wound…”
His injury was on his right shoulder blade, and his left arm was fine.
Fine, she thought. If he said it was fine, then it was fine. But she still did not dare move, afraid she would tug at his wound.
Ever since her husband had been injured, his collar had not been fastened properly. Only after lying quietly for a while did she discover that her knuckles were pressed against her husband’s bare waist and abdomen.
When she had not noticed, she had felt nothing at all.
After she noticed, it suddenly became different. It was only a small patch of skin she had touched, yet that cool temperature slowly began to burn, drilling from her knuckles into her heart and teasing her until she was flustered and unsettled.
For her to fall asleep in that posture was rather impossible.
She did not know how long she lay there. Seeing that the husband above her had not moved for a long time, he should have fallen asleep. Although doing things secretly, taking advantage of someone’s vulnerable state, was not the act of a noble person, fortunately, she was not a noble person. And besides, she only needed to spread out her curled fingers to touch him.
Before she could even act, her own lustful courage scared her heart into pounding like thunder. Once the thought had emerged, she could not take it back. The waves had already surged several stories high, so she could only make her move. She closed her eyes and covered him with her palm. Before she even had time to grab a handful, her husband suddenly pulled out the arm he had tucked under her neck and neatly fastened his open collar. “Come back earlier tomorrow, and you can touch all you want.”
Having lived this long, she had only ever heard of young ladies teasing their husbands’ hearts. She had never heard of a husband, in turn, teasing his wife’s desire.
Yet the embarrassing thing was, she really had been left hanging by him.
The feel she had touched last night was just like the silk before her now, smooth and fine.
Yet somewhat different too.
Her husband’s was much firmer…
Realizing what she was thinking, she was so startled that she jolted and hurriedly withdrew her hand. Her face and ears flushed red, she turned away, afraid Second Madam would see, and went inside alone to choose.
Sunlight shone in through the shop’s lattice window, the glow at its brightest.
It was almost noon. She wondered what her husband was doing. He probably had not eaten yet. Could he already be thinking of her…
“Miss, Miss…” Aunt Qing stared at her fingers. Seeing that she had nearly rubbed a hole into the bolt of silk in front of her, while her gaze was dazed and foolish and the corners of her lips still carried a smile, as though she had been possessed, Aunt Qing’s heart could not help but jump. Only after calling her twice did she call her senses back and remind her, “Second Madam has already made her choice and is waiting for you…”
After they boarded the carriage, Second Madam saw that she had not spoken for quite some time and also noticed that her mind was elsewhere. She asked softly, “What is it? What are you thinking about?”
Wen Shuse immediately pulled herself together. “Nothing. Mother, which shop do you plan to go to next?”
That urgent look on her face, as though her heart had already flown home, had written all her thoughts plainly across her features. Who could fail to see it?
When the two of them had married, she and Chancellor Xie had both been absent, leaving Old Madam to her moment of muddleheadedness, which had paired two innocent young people together. When they received the news, they had worried too. Their own son had never been the sort of person who would accept a loss. They were not afraid of much else, only afraid that he would ruin and bully the poor girl.
Unexpectedly, the two of them had fled all the way from Fengcheng and arrived safely in the Eastern Capital.
The hardships and dangers they had experienced along the way, she had heard all about from Chancellor Xie last night. The Crown Prince had praised her highly, “Courageous and perceptive, affectionate and righteous.”
They were both in the prime of youth. Young and hot-blooded, having come all this way together, true feelings were revealed in hardship. Even if it had been fake at first, feelings would still grow from spending time together.
Yesterday, Second Madam had pulled her out precisely because she wanted to see what exactly was going on between the two of them. Seeing that little brat send people over several times, she knew he could not sit still.
Now, seeing Wen Shuse’s expression, she understood as well, but did not expose her. “If you have something to do, you may go back first. I have not been to the Eastern Capital in a very long time and want to look around some more. I fear I will not return so soon.”
If she would not return so soon, then Wen Shuse truly might not be able to wait.
But what matter could she have? Say that she had suddenly begun coveting her own husband?
The true thoughts in her heart could not be shown to others, but so long as one wanted to see someone, there would be thousands of reasons. With a worried expression, she said to Second Madam, “Today, the imperial physician from the palace will come to examine him. I do not know how my husband is doing.”
Second Madam saw that she had finally said it aloud and let out a breath of relief. She did not make things difficult for her anymore. “Since you are worried, then go back and have a look.”
Only after seeing Second Madam outside the shop did Wen Shuse turn back. She left the Xie family carriage for Second Madam and hailed another one herself. Sitting in the carriage, listening to the sound of the wheels grinding over the road by her ears, she knew that she was getting closer and closer to home. For the first time, she became so nervous, so expectant.
Opposite her, Aunt Qing had already been observing her for quite a while. Seeing her giggle foolishly one moment, lift the carriage curtain the next, then put it down again and lower her head with a smile pressed to her lips, as though possessed, Aunt Qing grew more and more uneasy and asked aloud, “Miss, what’s wrong with you?”
Wen Shuse shook her head. “Nothing.”
After a while, however, she took the initiative to say to Aunt Qing, “Aunt Qing, my husband seems to have fallen in love with me.”
Last night, she had only thought that he was upset because she had returned late. But now, thinking it over carefully, there were traces everywhere.
Her husband had said he missed her. Why would he miss her? Surely it was because he had her in his heart that he would miss her.
And the look he had given her last night, ambiguous and deeply affectionate, really could not be considered innocent. He had even kissed her to that extent, as though he were only a step away from swallowing her whole, bones and all. If that was not liking her, then what was it…
Aunt Qing finally understood the source of her “affliction” all morning. Seeing her like this, she could not help feeling happy for her as well. “This servant said long ago that Miss is beautiful and has a good temperament. Who would not like you after meeting you? For Young Master to like Miss, that only proves Young Master has good taste.”
Seeing her so happy, she also asked in passing, “Then does Miss like Young Master?”
Wen Shuse nodded without the slightest hesitation. “I do.”
She had liked him long ago.
From the moment he endured his hunger and placed that plate of sweet-and-sour pork before her, she had planned to spend a lifetime with her husband.
Later, in Weicheng, when he carried her on his back, and the hair crown on his head poked her forehead, he turned back and asked her, “Does it hurt?” At that moment, her heart had stirred for her husband.
Over countless days and nights, he had given her his shoulder. He had held her and rolled down from horseback, risking his life to shield her behind him. There were too many things about her husband for her to like.
Aside from wanting to spend her life with him, her strongest thought at the moment was probably to touch those few muscles of her husband’s…
By noon, the number of people on the streets gradually increased, and the road began to grow congested. The carriage was slower than usual. From time to time, she lifted the curtain and looked outside. Stop and go, stop and go… how frustrating.
If she had known earlier, she should have told Mother today that she wanted to stay behind to take care of her husband. Then she would not have needed to go through all this trouble.
After nearly half an hour, the carriage finally arrived at the residence gate. She jumped down from the carriage, lifted her skirt, and hurried inside with Aunt Qing following close behind.
Once they entered the corridor of the inner courtyard, she suddenly slowed again and turned back to ask Aunt Qing, “Since I came back so early, will my husband feel pleasantly surprised?”
Aunt Qing nearly bumped into her when she stopped so abruptly. She smiled helplessly and said, “As long as Miss has come back, Young Master will surely be delighted.”
But she still wanted to give him a surprise. She did not let the two maids in the courtyard make a sound and stepped lightly over the threshold, guessing what sort of expression he would have when he saw her.
The moment she lifted the curtain, her gaze went toward the bed. “Husba…”
“I didn’t expect Brother Xie to still remember this matter. I thought Brother Xie had forgotten.”
The voices on both sides were cut off at the same time. The young lady sitting on the cushion, smiling and chatting happily, and the young master opposite her, smiling like a spring breeze, both looked toward the pearl curtain together.
It was far too different from the scene she had imagined. For a moment, Wen Shuse froze, forgetting how to react.
The young lady inside the room rose first, looked her over, and smiled as she asked the young master before her, “This must be Brother Xie’s wife?”
Her husband nodded and introduced her to Wen Shuse. “Second Princess.”
Only then did Wen Shuse return to herself. Seeing the other party dressed in such noble splendor, clearly no ordinary person, she quickly entered the room and bent her knees in salute. “Greetings to Your Second Highness.”
The Second Princess smiled. “Young Madam, there is no need to be so polite. Rise. I heard Brother Xie was injured and had long wanted to come visit, but changes occurred in the palace, and only now was I able to get away.” Then she looked apologetically toward Xie Shao. “Have I disturbed Brother Xie?”
“It’s fine.” Xie Shao turned his head and looked at Wen Shuse, his face full of surprise. “Why are you back so early today? Are you done? Where is Mother?”
A sudden stab of pain pierced her heart.
Wen Shuse did not step forward. Her hands hung at her sides, pinching her draped shawl. There was nothing unusual on her face. She did not look into her husband’s eyes, only pulled her lips into a smile. “I… I came back first to get some silver. Mother has not finished buying things yet. Husband, please take good care of Her Highness. I will go bring some fruit.”
She turned, lifted the pearl curtain, and walked out step by step, faster and faster.
After stepping over the threshold and reaching the corridor, a hot tear fell onto her cheek without warning. She hurriedly raised her hand to wipe it away, but the beads of tears in her eyes were like a flood breaking through a dam. No matter how she wiped, she could not wipe them clean.
“Miss…” Aunt Qing hurried after her, calling to her.
Wen Shuse shook her head, swallowed, and did her best not to let her voice tremble. “I am fine, Aunt Qing. Hurry and bring some tea and refreshments. Do not neglect Her Highness.”
“Miss.” How could Aunt Qing possibly feel at ease?
“There can be no one in the room. My heart hurts terribly, so I cannot go back in anymore. Aunt Qing, go and watch over things. I will go to the front courtyard and rest for a while.” She did not let Aunt Qing follow her and walked out of the courtyard alone.
The noon sun beat down upon her head, making her dizzy.
The anticipation and excitement she had felt when she returned earlier, everything she had believed, all of it did not exist. It was like a complete joke.
Her husband had not missed her. Seeing her had not brought him even the slightest bit of surprise. Perhaps her appearance had even troubled him.
Only today did she realize that her husband’s smile, apart from being given to her, could also be given to another young lady.
Brother Xie…
That kind of address was one she herself had never used before.
The pain in her chest grew worse and worse, as though it were about to split open. Even breathing became difficult. She no longer wanted to stay in the residence at all and hated herself for having suddenly come back. After wiping her tears dry, she went to the gate and said to the gatekeeper, “I am going out for a while. If Aunt Qing asks, tell her I went to find Second Madam. Tell her there is no need to come look for me, and to properly attend to the guest.”
She called the carriage driver, boarded the carriage again, and did not know where she ought to go. The sun was too blazing, and she did not want to go anywhere. After going around once, she finally had the carriage driver take her to the Old Cao Gate market street.
That place was where the two of them had first seen the Eastern Capital.
—
The maidservant passed the message to Aunt Qing just as Aunt Qing had carried in a tray of fruit and refreshments for the two inside.
Inside, the Second Princess was still speaking to Xie Shao about amusing stories from their childhood. Xie Shao lifted his head and, seeing that only Aunt Qing had come, frowned and asked, “Where is Third Young Madam?”
Although her heart felt uncomfortable, Aunt Qing still kept the bigger picture in mind. Lowering her eyes, she reported, “Third Young Madam was worried that Second Madam might not have enough silver, so she went out to bring silver to Second Madam. Third Young Madam left a message, saying that she has slighted Your Second Highness and will come another day to offer her apologies.”
The Second Princess smiled and said, “Third Young Madam is too kind. I came today without sending word ahead, the abruptness is mine. Third Young Madam may go attend to her business.”
Xie Shao said nothing.
In the heat of the sixth or seventh month, the sun was blazing. She had already come back, yet she still had to run out again. Did she not find it tiring?
Half an hour later, the Second Princess finally took her leave. “Brother Xie, recover soon. I must race horses with you again and win back the face I lost a few years ago.”
Xie Shao rose and smiled politely. “If Your Highness wishes to race horses, I would be happy to oblige. But as for that childhood title “Brother Xie,” I dare not presume. In the future, Your Highness may simply call my name from now on.”
Minzhang went out to see her off.
Xie Shao intended to change clothes. Today, the imperial physician and the Second Princess had come to the residence together. After his wound had been redressed, he had immediately put on his clothes, and they were bound rather tightly, making him somewhat uncomfortable.
He was just undoing his cuffs when Aunt Qing suddenly called from outside, “Young Master.”
Xie Shao paused. “Come in.”
Aunt Qing entered holding a stack of robes. The first batch of clothes from Mingxiu Pavilion had already been rushed to completion and just delivered. There were several sets, all for the young master.
Seeing this pile of new clothes, Xie Shao scoffed inwardly. How worthy of celebration, at least his little wife had not forgotten him completely. He pointed to the chest by the head of the bed. “Put them inside.”
Aunt Qing opened the cabinet door and immediately spotted that bright sapphire-blue robe. She remembered how Miss, in a fit of anger, had given it to Minzhang. She had no idea how it ended up in the young master’s hands.
Presumably, the young master already knew Miss had made it. Feeling a small measure of relief, she added a few words. “This was the first time Miss ever made clothes for anyone. The stitching may be simpler than Mingxiu Pavilion’s, but every stitch was sewn by her own hand. Young Master keeping this robe, Miss would be so happy to know.”
She turned and placed the new robes inside.
After a long pause, she heard his voice from behind. “She made it herself?”
Aunt Qing was taken aback, unsure whether he knew or not. She nodded and said, “The day Young Master went to get his official appointment, Miss noticed that your clothes were worn out. So, she went out to buy silk, cut and sewed it herself, stitch by stitch, following your measurements. She wasn’t sure if it would fit.”
Xie Shao didn’t answer.
The moment Aunt Qing left, he went straight to the bed, opened the cabinet door, and took out the robe.
He quickly pulled off the clothes he was wearing, didn’t bother calling Minzhang to help, and, carefully, mindful of the wound on his shoulder blade, worked the robe onto himself.
By the time he finished, a fine sweat had broken out on his forehead.
The fit was perfect. No wonder it had been too small on Minzhang. It had never been meant for him.
He lifted his sleeves, tried taking a step. It was perfect in every way.
Over the past several days, his heart had never felt so soothed and satisfied. After putting it on, he no longer wanted to take it off. He planned to keep wearing it and wait for his little wife to come home, then question her face-to-face.
Since these were clothes she had personally made for him, why had they ended up in Minzhang’s hands?
He waited and waited until evening. Even Second Madam had returned, there was still no sign of Wen Shuse.
Xie Shao could no longer endure it. He walked out of the courtyard and knocked on Chancellor Xie and Second Madam’s door. The moment the door opened, he immediately demanded of Second Madam, “Where is Wen Shuse?”
Second Madam had just returned and was removing the hairpins from her hair. Hearing this, she froze. “She is not here?”
Xie Shao stood at the doorway, his expression ugly to the extreme. “Did she not go out with you?”
His heart had long been filled with dissatisfaction toward the two of them, so his voice inevitably grew louder.
Second Madam stared at the son before her, who had suddenly lashed out at her. She very much wanted to slap him across the face, but for the moment, she also did not understand what had happened. Her heart sank, and she told him the truth. “She missed you terribly today and came back at noon. How could she not have returned home?”
As soon as the words were spoken, Xie Shao’s expression changed.
Aunt Qing had not expected that Wen Shuse had never gone to find Second Madam at all. Now that she still had not returned, remembering the heartbroken look she had worn during the day, Aunt Qing’s legs went weak with fear. Unable to hold back anymore, she cried, “Young Master, hurry and go find Third Young Madam. When Third Young Madam left, she was still upset and crying.”
How much her young lady had looked forward to seeing Young Master on the way back earlier, Aunt Qing had seen it all.
Yet the moment she returned, she saw Young Master sitting inside the room, chatting and laughing with the Second Princess. How much must that have hurt her?
Aunt Qing did not know what kind of relationship Young Master and the Second Princess had, but her own young lady had gone through life and death with Young Master. Though they had known each other for less than half a year, not as long as childhood sweethearts, this feeling was no lighter than anyone else’s.
The Second Princess’s “Brother Xie” today had been inappropriate, especially in front of the young lady. She should not have addressed him that way.
Young Master now held an official post of the third rank and was already married. By rights, the Second Princess should either have called him “Third Young Master” or “Lord Xie.”
Even if she wished to seem a little more noble, directly calling him by name would have been acceptable.
The young lady must have taken it to heart and been hurt. Now the sky was nearly dark, and she had already been gone for several hours. Where were they supposed to find her?
After Second Madam heard Aunt Qing’s words, her expression also changed. Before she could question the culprit standing before her, Xie Shao suddenly turned around and rushed straight toward the gate. “Minzhang, prepare a horse.”
The group had only just reached the entrance when they saw Wen Shuse getting down from a carriage.
In her hand, she carried several jars of sorghum wine, and in her arms, she held a food box. Seeing her husband standing before the door with a pale face, she froze for a moment. Knowing that she had probably failed to time things properly and that Second Madam had likely already returned, she hurriedly smiled at him and explained, “I went to buy wine for Father. I also bought the sweet-and-sour pork Husband likes to eat…”