Chapter 22
As they were on the way home, Jiang Mu thought Jin Chao would say something. After all, Lao Ma had asked her to come back earlier today, and it probably had something to do with her being mentioned in a conversation with Jin Chao.
But throughout the ride, Jin Chao remained silent. When the car stopped in front of the shop, Jiang Mu got out and saw San Lai hanging around inside, peering out. She waved at him. As soon as she entered the repair area, Jin Chao pulled down the roll-up door halfway and said to Jiang Mu, “Let’s talk.”
Jiang Mu paused in her steps. Jin Chao placed her bag on a nearby box and stood behind the lift, looking at her, but didn’t speak.
His gaze made Jiang Mu feel a little uncomfortable. She broke the silence first, “San Lai said you were on a business trip?”
Jin Chao responded with a faint “Mm?” before confirming, “Mm.”
Jiang Mu lightly rubbed the soles of her shoes on the floor of the repair area. It was eerily quiet, so quiet that she could hear her own breathing. She hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Did you go alone?”
“No.” Jin Chao’s voice sounded a bit hoarse like he hadn’t slept well.
Jiang Mu’s mind started to waver, but she still asked, “Were you with a woman?”
Her question made Jin Chao lift his eyelids, and he responded, “Why do you ask?”
Jiang Mu glanced at the direction of the curtain, because behind it, on the nightstand, was a box containing something that couldn’t be described.
At that moment, facing Jin Chao, Jiang Mu found herself unable to ask any further questions.
After a long pause, Jin Chao’s voice softened a little, “Still thinking about going back to Suzhou?”
Jiang Mu lowered her lashes, staring at the tips of her shoes. “Did Old Ma tell you?”
Jin Chao let out a faint sigh. He stepped over the lift and walked toward her. Jiang Mu took a step back, leaning her body against the wall. Before she could even fully lean against it, Jin Chao suddenly grabbed her school uniform and pulled her closer. The unexpected force made her heart race, and she looked up at him, her face instantly turning red.
Jin Chao simply said, “There’s dirt on the wall.”
Jiang Mu, her mind completely disoriented, stared at him. Jin Chao stepped back and leaned against the lift column, looking at her as he asked, “Do you really want to leave that badly?”
Jiang Mu lowered her head and mumbled, “I’m afraid staying here will disturb you.”
“Disturb me with what?”
Jiang Mu bit her lip. The lights in the repair area weren’t on, and the light from the half-open roll-up door filtered in, casting a faint glow. Her face was filled with an awkwardness that was hard to put into words.
It seemed that Jin Chao suddenly realized something. He fell silent, carefully studying her expression. It wasn’t until Jiang Mu, feeling defeated, lowered her gaze slightly that Jin Chao sighed and stepped back in front of her.
He was much taller than her, with Jiang Mu barely reaching his chest. His towering shadow, like a thin veil, gently enveloped her as he said, “I went out with Jin Fengzi. There were no women.”
After speaking, Jin Chao suddenly laughed, lowering his head as if feeling a bit ridiculous. It was as if he had done something shameful that needed explaining. But having been on his own for so many years, who would there be to question him, or to make him clear his name?
He lifted his gaze, a smile in his eyes, and his sharp, cold features made it difficult for anyone to look him in the eye. In a low voice, he asked, “Is this why you want to leave?”
Jiang Mu puffed her cheeks. Though he had seen right through her, she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. She kept her hands firmly in front of her.
Jin Chao couldn’t understand where all these messy thoughts of hers came from. Watching her hands and feet awkwardly positioned, he felt a mix of emotions. The girl who used to laugh loudly when happy, cry when upset, always climb onto him to snatch food, and would talk his ear off when she had a small concern—now stood before him, sensitive and cautious. Time had changed him, but hadn’t it also changed her? He wondered if he had always been by her side back then, would she be more confident now, more sure of herself?
Jiang Mu’s short hair fell down, covering her cheeks and making her face look even smaller. Jin Chao raised his hand, about to brush the hair from her face, but at that moment, San Lai, bending down, poked his head through the half-open roll-up door. What he saw was Jiang Mu shrinking back, obediently lowering her head, and Jin Chao with his hand raised as though to hug her. In the dim light, their shadows overlapped, creating a scene that startled San Lai into shouting, “What the hell are you two doing?”
At that shout, Jin Chao immediately withdrew his hand, opened the roll-up door, and walked out. He didn’t return for a long while, so Jiang Mu, feeling awkward, grabbed her bag and went into the break room to read.
He went to sit with San Lai for a while. San Lai asked him how he was doing these past two days. Jin Chao also chatted with him casually, but San Lai kept staring at him with an expression that seemed to be about to laugh, which made Jin Chao pick up the cigarette box in his hand and throw it at him, “If you look at me like that again, I’ll dig your eyes out.”
San Lai raised his hand to take the cigarette box, took out a cigarette, and threw it back to him, “Little Jiang Mu asked me if you have a woman.”
Jin Chao lowered his head, took a cigarette out of the cigarette box, and put it in his mouth, “How did you respond?”
San Lai lay down on the swivel chair, put his feet on the cash register, and squinted his eyes. He smiled and said, “I said you haven’t been sealed yet.”
Jin Chao’s expression froze. This sounded like he had a bed partner. He slowly stood up and walked to San Lai, stretched out his hand to take the cigarette he had just lit from his mouth, and put it out in the ashtray next to him, cursing, “You really know how to make trouble for me.”
……
When Jin Chao came back from next door, Jiang Mu was still busy writing questions. He walked outside the glass to clean the spray nozzle. Jiang Mu could see his busy figure as long as he looked up. Although they were busy with their own things across the glass, Jiang Mu liked this solid feeling.
Not knowing how long it had passed, Jin Chao suddenly said, “I don’t have a woman, and I won’t consider this at the moment. You don’t have to worry about anything. Since you have come to Tonggang, besides Jin Qiang’s place, if you want, this can also be your home. I’m here, and no one can drive you away.”
Jiang Mu’s hand, holding the pen, tightened slightly. After hearing Jin Chao speak these words directly, her hesitant and lost heart seemed to find a temporary root to cling to, like a drifting leaf finding a tree to latch onto.
Seeing that she kept her head lowered with no reaction, Jin Chao stopped his work and looked up at her. Jiang Mu reached out and picked up the notice she had just received in the evening, sticking it onto the glass and pointing to the “Parent’s Signature” in the lower right corner, flashing him a bright smile.
The notice was a letter to parents, likely reminding them to pay attention to the physical and mental well-being of their high school seniors, to care for their children’s current psychological state and daily routines, and to work with the school to help the students complete the final push in their high school years.
Although some of the content was rather formulaic, Jin Chao read it seriously, not stopping until he had finished the last word. He then asked Jiang Mu for a pen, bent down, and signed his name, “Jin Chao,” on the corner of the desk.
This wasn’t the first time Jin Chao had signed for her. Back in second grade, when she had failed a test, she ran to Jin Chao, saying she couldn’t tell her mom, but the teacher required a parent’s signature. Seeing her crying, Jin Chao signed for her.
The result was that the teacher asked her to bring a parent. A first-year junior high school student like Jin Chao, carrying his schoolbag, appeared in front of the teacher like a little adult. He told the young female teacher that he would take responsibility for her grades and promised that she wouldn’t get such a score again next time.
After hearing that the young teacher looked at him seriously, she gave them a chance and kept their secret. Later, every evening, Jin Chao would drag Jiang Mu to practice writing new words and old poems, testing her anywhere and anytime.
But in the second week after Jiang Mu had gotten good grades, Jin Chao left her. Since then, no matter how difficult things got, there was no longer anyone to help her bear the burden.
Jiang Mu took the notice, staring at it for a while. The two simple characters were strong and vigorous. She hadn’t seen Jin Chao’s handwriting for a long time. The year he left Suzhou, his writing had already become very sharp and bold. Jiang Mu had spent a long time trying to mimic it, practicing with his homework books. In the end, she never managed to replicate his strong and graceful handwriting, but over the years, she had diligently followed his steps, working hard on her calligraphy.
Jiang Mu folded the notice and put it in her school bag. She then looked up at Jin Chao outside, a smile she couldn’t hide spreading across her face. A small signature had brought their relationship back together across time and space.
Although Jin Chao didn’t look at her, it seemed as though he could sense her gaze. His head was lowered, but there was an unusual warmth in his eyes.
……
Jiang Mu didn’t bother to figure out what the indescribable object in the box was for. She just left it on the nightstand, no longer paying attention to it.
After Jin Chao had signed the notice for her, Jiang Mu felt like he was getting more and more involved in the role of a parent. The next day, a milk box appeared in front of the shop, and Jin Chao had actually ordered milk for her.
Although Jiang Mu really disliked eating boiled eggs, Jin Chao still made one for her. On the first day, Jiang Mu half-heartedly took it and put it in her pocket, telling him she would eat it on the way.
The next day, Jin Chao simply peeled the egg for her, leaving her no chance to be lazy. She had no choice but to eat the egg in front of him, which led to Jiang Mu feeling a sense of fear as if she were being dominated by eggs for those few days.
Jin Chao also snatched San Lai’s juicer and bought a bunch of oranges. Every day when Jiang Mu returned from her evening study session, there was a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice on the table.
One morning, Jiang Mu finally couldn’t help but say, “You’re even stricter than my mom.”
Jin Chao replied indifferently, “I signed the form.”
Jiang Mu stared at him for a long time before realizing that he was referring to the notice. A simple parent’s letter had created a sense of contract between them.
As Jiang Mu looked at him, speechless, Jin Chao handed her the peeled egg and said, “If you get malnourished from staying with me, where would I put my face? Eat it.”
As for Jin Chao’s obsession with orange juice, it was said to be for boosting her Vitamin C, to prevent her from getting sick and repeating the cycle of catching a cold or fever.
As for the mysterious keychain San Lai had mentioned, Jiang Mu was still very curious. So, over the past few days, she had been trying to find an opportunity to inquire about it. Finally, on Thursday evening, she found the perfect chance.
When Jiang Mu came back, Jin Chao was squatting by the shop entrance, busy with something. She waited for the moment when his hands were too dirty to hold anything, and then deliberately moved closer, pointing at the roll-up door of the shop. She said to him, “I need to get to school earlier tomorrow. You don’t need to wake up early. Just give me the spare key, and I’ll open the door myself.”
Jin Chao didn’t think much of it and stood up to go wash his hands. Jiang Mu immediately stepped forward and blocked him, saying, “I’ll get it myself.”
Jin Chao stood still, glancing at the left pocket of his jeans. Jiang Mu, suppressing her curiosity, immediately reached into his left pocket, and sure enough, she found a key. However, before she could pull it out, she noticed it was bare, with no pendant attached. So, pretending she hadn’t found it, she reached into his right pocket instead.
Her mind was entirely focused on finding the key chain. Unconsciously, her body inched closer to him, and the wind brushed against her short hair, causing it to sweep across Jin Chao’s chest. The sensation tickled him, stirring something inside his heart. Jin Chao furrowed his brow and looked down at her. As she got closer, the tension in the air gradually increased, and he couldn’t help but remind himself, over and over, that the person in front of him was an attractive adult woman, not a child anymore. So, when her hand was about to reach into his back pocket, Jin Chao narrowed his eyes and asked, “What exactly are you looking for?”
His intense gaze made Jiang Mu feel incredibly embarrassed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw San Lai leaning against the shop door, barely holding back laughter. Suddenly, she realized she had been fooled, and feeling both frustrated and humiliated, she stormed back to her room. Jin Chao was left confused, unsure of why she was upset. Wasn’t she the one who asked for the key? Was there some hidden meaning behind it? Did he need to start keeping some coins in his pockets for her to play with?
That night, before leaving, Jin Chao placed the key next to Jiang Mu’s schoolbag. The next morning, Xi Shi had already woken up to go out for a walk, and she hadn’t woken up yet. He didn’t understand why she had asked for it in the first place.
On Friday, the results of the school mock exams came out. Overall, Jiang Mu was quite satisfied with her scores. She ranked 48th in the grade and 7th in the class, which was unprecedented for her. At her previous school, the competition had been fierce, and she usually hovered around the top 100, with her best ranking around 70th in the grade.
However, Jiang Mu knew that her improvement in scores wasn’t due to her sudden academic breakthrough, but rather the significant gap between schools.
But her ranking immediately stunned Pan Kai and Yan Xiaoyi. Pan Kai, still somewhat in disbelief, asked her, “Didn’t you only score around 300 in the last college entrance exam?”
“…I’m from Jiangsu.”
For a province with a total score of 480 on the college entrance exam, Jiang Mu’s 300+ points, though still a little short of the first-tier line, could hardly be considered bad.
Pan Kai immediately became respectful toward her 300+ score, while Yan Xiaoyi quietly muttered, “Let me copy your English test paper.”
Jiang Mu didn’t have lofty ambitions and hadn’t considered aiming for top-tier schools like Tsinghua and Peking University, so she was easily satisfied and felt that her performance this time had been stable.
However, on the way back that evening, when Jin Chao went to the lounge to grab something, he casually flipped through her school mock exam paper. Without warning, he suddenly asked, “Do you want to sign up for a tutoring class?”
His question left Jiang Mu stunned. She asked in surprise, “Do you think… I did poorly?”
Jin Chao laughed. “Is it good?”
Jiang Mu immediately felt like she had been hit with a thousand critical blows. That little feeling of self-satisfaction from the day vanished instantly.
Jin Chao was a naturally gifted individual. In Jiang Mu’s impression, he had never attended any extracurricular tutoring classes; learning had always been an easy task for him. He could even spare plenty of time to read books and visit model shops.
As for her, from elementary to middle school, Jiang Yinghan had enrolled her in almost every type of tutoring class for each subject. She had managed to stay at the top of her grade only through relentless effort and countless late nights.
But in front of Jin Chao, she had to admit that sometimes the gap between people’s innate abilities was just too big.
She looked at her own school uniform and then raised her head to ask him, “Did you win this school uniform in some competition?”
Jin Chao pulled a chair over, grabbed a pen, and then tore off a piece of newspaper from the nearby metal cabinet and laid it on the table before replying, “The city’s competition.”
Jiang Mu remembered that Yan Xiaoyi had mentioned that only those who ranked in the top three at or above the city level had a gold trophy in front of their school uniforms.
She couldn’t help but ask, “So you made it to the selection?”
Jin Chao simply responded with a “Hmm.”
She asked again, “And then?”
“There’s no ‘and then.’”
He answered crisply and wrote quickly with the pen in his hand.
Jiang Mu thought back to the scene a few days ago when he had gone to the school and cautiously asked, “So, the Physics teacher from second year…”
“He was leading the team for the city competition,” Jin Chao interrupted.
Jiang Mu then recalled how their class’s old teacher, Mr. Zheng, had stared at the school emblem on her uniform for a long time, before inexplicably saying a bunch of motivational quotes, something like, “A person who perseveres will be rewarded, endure hardship and bear the burden, like the 3,000 soldiers of Yue who could swallow Wu.”
At the time, she had thought Mr. Zheng was just an emotional person, but now, looking back, she felt that his words might not have been directed at her at all, but rather at the owner of the school uniform.
Jiang Mu’s expression suddenly became serious. After hesitating for a long time, she asked solemnly, “Why didn’t you take the college entrance exam back then?”
Jin Chao’s pen suddenly paused, but only for a moment before he turned the math paper over and continued writing.
Although he didn’t say anything, Jiang Mu could still feel a heavy, oppressive aura emanating from him. The atmosphere grew quiet, and she realized she had touched on the most sensitive subject for him. She suddenly regretted bringing it up.
Just as she was wracking her brain, trying to figure out how to steer the conversation away from that topic, Jin Chao suddenly straightened up, threw the newspaper at her, and said, “You can take a look first. If you don’t understand, ask me.”
After speaking, Jin Chao quickly strode out of the room.
Jiang Mu lowered her head and saw that the empty spaces on the sides of the newspaper had been filled with dense formulas, all solutions to her mistakes. She gripped the paper tightly, staring at his smooth problem-solving process, and her heart tightened with each passing moment.
That evening, she took off her school uniform, folded it neatly, and placed it by the bed. After turning off the lights, she almost felt like she could still see the trophy in the center of the school emblem glowing with a golden light, even in the darkness.
Jiang Mu suddenly felt that the uniform was no longer just a school uniform, but rather a trophy from Jin Chao’s past. This embroidered uniform, with its special trophy, now worn by her, made her feel undeserving. It seemed to constantly remind her that her abilities were still not enough to match the honor the uniform represented.
She closed her eyes, and the world around her fell into complete darkness. Her hearing seemed amplified, and her body felt as light as a feather, drifting in the vastness of space. Gradually, a faint light appeared in the distance, slowly growing brighter. She saw many abstract, moving points of light, which gradually formed grand beams of light that illuminated her entire world. When she opened her eyes again, the uncertain future she had been confused about for eighteen years found its place. For the first time, she saw clearly where the road beneath her feet was leading.