The Beauty Within the Gates
Chapter 109
Pei Qing lay in the room next to the two of them. Every so often, several thudding sounds came from next door. Unable to sleep, he opened his eyes and listened to their conversation. At last, he understood what had happened.
Great Villain Cui had been tricked by a little girl. And she had succeeded. A rare wonder that might not happen once in a hundred years.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he listened to the comedy unfold. Soon, the noise next door quieted down, and they seemed to have fallen asleep. Yet now, he himself could no longer close his eyes.
The faint smile that had been on his lips faded completely. He turned his head and looked out the window. In the latter half of the night, the sky had lost its moonlight and was completely dark. The dampness of the river washed over his face, mixed with the river wind, somewhat cool and somewhat stifling.
After experiencing so much over the years, he was too familiar with it. At times like this, he would soon find himself on the edge of ‘drowning’ in his memories.
Though he had not had an episode for some time, he still habitually reached beneath his pillow and took out a short blade. He waited. But the suffocating feeling of drowning did not come. Instead, the face of Pei Yuanqiu suddenly appeared before his eyes.
It was in Southern City the last time he saw him. That face had bulging veins, full of urgency and terror. Using all his strength, Pei Yuanqiu roared at him, “Go!”
“I have wronged you all, but I do not regret it.”
“As a descendant of the Pei family, I completed my mission. I also paved the road for the Pei family’s descendants. Even if I die a miserable death in the future, in the history books, the position of Minister of the Court of Judicial Review will still bear the surname of my Pei family.”
For such words to come from Pei Yuanqiu’s mouth did not surprise him. From the moment Pei Yuanqiu abandoned his wife and child, his eyes had already been blinded by power. In the end, he hadn’t saved Pei Qing, he had saved the hope he had struggled his whole life to win for the Pei family.
What Pei Qing hated most in this lifetime was power, yet in the end, he had become a prince of noble status.
Jing Wang had not taken him as an adopted son after he saved him. It happened when he was wounded and lying on his sickbed, after a high fever triggered an episode of “drowning.”
When he came out of Southern City, he had not thought of living. During the nightmare, he saw his mother and returned to the night before she hanged herself. She had made a sumptuous dinner, pulled him into her arms, lifted his sleeve, and counted the marks on his arm where she had struck him, apologizing over and over. “I’m sorry.”
After Pei Yuanqiu left, more than the pain, what he feared most was Mother’s tears. He hugged his mother and comforted her, “Mother hit me because I was disobedient. It does not hurt at all.”
His mother said nothing. She held him tightly for a while, then took out a small box from her side. “These years, Mother earned some money at the docks. It’s all here. Keep it and spend it wisely.”
He did not understand. Seeing those scattered banknotes, old and creased, he asked in astonishment, “Mother, do we have money now?”
“Mm, we have money. Eat more.” Mother put all the meat into his bowl.
That meal was the happiest meal he had ever eaten, because he saw Mother reveal a smile he had not seen in a long time. Even before he went to sleep, Mother still stayed by his side, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently patting his back. She asked him, “Do you hate your father?”
He lifted his head and looked at his mother’s face. She was not yet thirty, yet the hair at her temples had already turned gray. Gritting his teeth, he answered, “I hate him.”
Mother shook her head. “I should hate him. You should not. He is your father. He has the duty to raise you. If one day he comes back to find you, remember, you must go with him. Only when you no longer go hungry will you be able to make something of yourself.”
Afraid of making his mother unhappy, he did not argue with her.
Mother touched the scars on his arm again and said in a low voice, “Do not blame Mother. Mother loves you. Mother was only sick.”
“I do not blame Mother.” He shook his head fiercely and looked at her with concern. “Then can Mother get better?”
Mother smiled at him and nodded. “I can get better.”
What she meant by getting better was ending her own life.
She had planned it long ago, carrying sacks at the docks, embroidering, doing odd jobs. She had done every bit of hard labor she could do to save enough money for him to survive. Then she took away the one person who posed a hidden danger to him as well, leaving behind only a few sparse words on white paper.
To my son: Mother is leaving. No one in this world can ever hurt you again. Live well.
The dream came to an end. The familiar, suffocating seawater instantly surrounded him. His whole body was covered in sweat. Lying on the couch, he called out in a low voice again and again, “Mother, Mother…”
“Pei Qing…”
When he woke, Jing Wang was sitting beside him. He did not ask what dream he had had. He only said gently, “It is good to sweat. Once the fever recedes, you will get better.”
For two days, he burned and drifted in and out of nightmares. Every time he woke, the Prince of Jing was there. On the day he was moved to another room, the prince helped him up and insisted on carrying him on his back. He laughed and said, “Though I am old, carrying a young man like you is still no problem.”
The warmth and unfamiliar feeling he experienced on Jing Wang’s back were something he had never felt from Pei Yuanqiu in this lifetime.
Because of this, when Jing Wang asked him, “Pei Qing, are you willing to become my son?” he did not think much before kneeling before him without hesitation.
“I, Pei Qing, am a lonely person, like duckweed without support. What virtue or ability do I have to receive such deep favor from Your Highness?”
Prince Jing said, “Who said you are a lonely person? Though I do not approve of what your father, Pei Yuanqiu, did, his abilities were witnessed by all in court. Yet at the final moment, in order to protect you, he ruined a lifetime of effort. Your mother worked hard her whole life to raise you, and her final choice was also made so that you could live in this world without being hurt. They both loved you. It is only that their love was forced thin by life and became somewhat extreme. Pei Qing, love in this world is not necessarily perfect. Hatred is the same. Life also does not have absolute right and wrong. Moreover, the human heart is complicated and difficult to measure. Who can clearly explain love and hatred? So, no matter what thoughts you hold, I can understand them. You and Zhou Kuang were already brothers to begin with, and the children beneath my knee are few. Everything is fate. I hope I can protect you for part of your journey. Do you have a courtesy name?”
He answered hoarsely, “Yes. Yan Zhuo.”
“Outstanding. A good name. Your birth parents gave you the wish for a bright future. Then I will give you the character ‘An.’ From now on, you will be called Zhou An. May you be smooth, safe, and healthy. Everyone has their rights and wrongs. Take me, for example. I protected the people of Great Feng, but those Liao people who died miserably by my sword, did they not also have wives and children? Did they not also hate me? Love and hatred are only different choices and positions. I say this not because I want you to bend your knee and forgive him, but because I want you to learn to forgive yourself.”
The tightness in his chest slowly faded.
Jing Wang’s words had found a persuasive reason for the hatred in his heart, a hatred that was no longer as firm as it had been at the beginning.
Hatred? Whom should he hate?
In the end, he still had Pei Yuanqiu’s body dug out and brought to Fengcheng. He buried him in the Pei family, allowing his wandering soul to return to its roots.
The feeling of drowning was gone, but his head still hurt, throbbing painfully. He rose and poured several mouthfuls of cool water down his throat, then lay back on the bed and slowly closed his eyes.
Forgive himself… when would he truly be able to do that?
The night slowly faded. The next morning, sunlight spilled across the deck. Pei Qing was woken by a shout from next door. “What? Why should I buy clothes for you?”
Pei Qing got up and washed his face. When he went out, Cui Nian was still arguing. “Tell me, what else do you need? Say it all at once. My heart is weak. Asking me for money is asking for my life…”
In the past, Great Villain Cui would squeeze every penny. This time, he had truly met his match. Pei Qing went out to the deck to find a quiet place and continued sleeping.
A‘Fu searched for quite a while before finding him. He came forward and reported, “Letters have come from several places in the Eastern Capital. They did not see the young lady Your Highness mentioned.”
That day, the mute girl had fled before finishing her words. Pei Qing had been sending people to search for her all this time. After so long with no news, she must no longer be in the Eastern Capital.
They had met by chance, yet there was a thread of shared suffering between them. Seeing how frightened she had been, Pei Qing could mostly guess what she had gone through. He had not expected her to still possess such courage.
“Keep searching. Do not frighten her.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“There is one more matter.” A’Fu took a booklet from his sleeve. After looking left and right, he mysteriously handed it to Pei Qing. “Last time, the Crown Prince asked Your Highness for one. After learning that you also did not have one, he secretly gave this servant a copy yesterday before we left.” Then he took out a second book. “This one was given by Min Zhang. He said Commander Xie specifically bought it for you…”
Pei Qing knew what it was without looking. His face darkened. He raised his hand and was just about to throw them into the river when A’Fu stopped him in time and added, “They’re collector’s editions. The days ahead are long. Perhaps you may be able to use them someday. You cannot end up like the Crown Prince back then, going around begging people…”
—
The official ship moved along the river. Its majesty and grandeur drew gazes from within ten li. Along the way, whenever they passed a prefecture, boats came forward to invite them to stop, but Pei Qing refused them all. “No need to stop. Return directly to Fengcheng.”
Five days later, the ship arrived at Fengcheng in Zhongzhou Prefecture. Fengcheng County Magistrate Xie Heng brought the people of the yamen and personally came to the city gate to welcome them.
In the past, Pei Qing had been a constable under Xie Heng. Now his identity had changed, and he had become a member of the imperial family, a prince of honored status. When Xie Heng saw him, he still had to kneel and salute.
Pei Qing understood Xie Heng’s difficulty. A person who had once stood among the clouds had suddenly fallen into the dust. Every bend of his waist was his own dignity being folded.
Before everyone, Pei Qing reached out and helped him up. “Magistrate Xie, please rise.”
Xie Heng stood straight and lifted his head. His expression was unexpectedly calm and composed. Though his face was still that of the young county magistrate from before, he seemed much more settled than he had been. He smiled and said openly, “Welcome back to Fengcheng, Your Highness.”
Pei Qing also returned a smile. “I will still have to ask County Magistrate Xie for much guidance.”
Fengcheng had experienced internal conflict, and both manpower and resources had suffered greatly. On the day he arrived in Fengcheng, Pei Qing had Xie Heng unload the supplies from the official ship, set up congee and noodle stalls, and soothe the people of the city.
Only at night did Pei Qing hear someone say that County Magistrate Xie had personally gone to the streets today to distribute congee.
“The people did not appreciate it at all. They clung to the matter of the Xie family’s eldest branch rebelling and secretly insulted him. I heard that on the road back from the street today, someone again threw filthy water all over him.”
When Xie Heng submitted his memorial to His Majesty requesting to return to Fengcheng, he had long expected this day. Pei Qing was not surprised. “People’s hearts only look at immediate benefit. This pass must still be carried by him himself. How is the Xie family?”
“This Eldest Young Master Xie is also quite a capable person. On the first day he returned, he went to the restaurant and dragged out his good-for-nothing second brother. Before everyone, he removed the Second Young Master’s name from the family register. When Second Young Master woke, not only could he no longer return home, but his wife and child were still by his side. They slept rough outside for two days. Second Young Madam developed a high fever, and the child also burned with fever. The little baby is not yet one year old, and Second Young Madam lay there paralyzed, unable to answer when called. Only then did Second Young Master know to be anxious. That night, Second Young Master carried the feverish child and knelt at the Xie family gate, kowtowing and begging for mercy. Crying, he begged Eldest Young Master to let the child and Second Young Madam inside for the sake of their former brotherhood.
“Eldest Young Master did agree, but there were conditions. Second Young Master must pay support every month. Once no silver is seen, Second Young Madam and the child will be thrown out again. Forced into helplessness, Second Young Master is now pulling carts for a living.”
After spending so many years with Brother Xie, Pei Qing had long known that each member of the Xie family’s eldest branch had been corroded by Chancellor Xie’s gold until they lost all ability to survive. Now that no one would indulge them anymore, after experiencing wind and rain, it was time for them to wake up.
A’Fu continued, “As for Eldest Madam Xie, there is no hope. When she goes mad, she bites whoever she sees. I heard that not long ago, she bit the Eldest Young Lady. A piece of flesh on her wrist was gone. Eldest Young Lady cried until the heavens and earth dimmed. In a fit of anger, she asked someone to give her a strong dose of medicine that left her bedridden. When Eldest Young Master returned and called her, she did not even recognize him. She only opened her eyes round and wide, staring blankly. I expect she does not have many days left.”
“In order to marry before the mourning period, Eldest Young Lady and Second Young Lady have been urgently discussing marriage these few days. Eldest Young Master is handling everything.”
With such a family, Eldest Young Master’s life could only be one of hardship.
Thinking of the grace Eldest Young Master Xie once had on his face, Pei Qing was also lost in thought for a moment. Every family had its own difficult scripture. Born as humans, everyone has a heart. Whose suffering was not suffering?
Yet they still had to endure.
Under Yuan Ming’an, what kind of humiliation had Xie Heng not suffered? Crawling through crotches, being punched and kicked, wounds on his body hurting so much he could not sleep all night… Compared to that, this bit of filthy water was truly nothing. After returning home, he bathed and changed clothes, then went to the study and read until midnight.
The next day, when he arrived at the yamen and was dealing with cases in hand, a burst of drumming suddenly came from outside. “Who is beating the grievance drum?”
The city supervisor slowly came in and reported, “It is a mute. What grievance can she possibly cry?” There was a note of mockery in his words.
This world was truly laughable. Even a mute dared to beat the drum now.
Xie Heng lifted his head, his gaze solemn. “If a mute beats the drum, does that not mean there is even greater grievance?”
Ignoring the supervisor’s contemptuous and arrogant expression, he ordered, “Open the court.”
The supervisor followed behind him, extremely disdainful of this official air of his. Did he think he was still the Xie Heng from before? The son of a traitor. How did he still have the face to return to Fengcheng? If not for benefiting from the second branch’s Chancellor Xie, could he still return to Fengcheng as an official?
Precisely because of this, although the people below had opinions of him in their hearts, they did not dare openly trip him up. They only played small tricks in secret to make him lose face.
To Xie Heng, this was already enough. They could scheme all they wanted, as long as they cooperated openly. Donning his official hat, he walked out.
The person who had struck the drum was already kneeling below. She was a young lady. One of her sleeves had been torn halfway off, exposing pale skin. Kneeling on the ground, she clutched her arm tightly.
The surroundings were full of people.
Xie Heng turned his head and first said to the servant beside him, “Bring her some clothes.”
The attendant went inside and quickly brought a cloak, draping it over the young lady. Only then did Xie Heng ask, “Young lady, what grievance brings you to strike the drum?”
The young lady lifted her head and had just looked toward the constable beside her when that constable took the initiative and spoke first. “She is a murderer. She killed her father.”