Chapter 68
Last week had been stormy, but this week brought gentle, warm breezes. Jiang Mu packed water and some simple snacks into her backpack early in the morning. They had agreed to meet at 7:30 at the entrance of her apartment building, but when she stepped out at 7:20, Jin Chao was already waiting there.
He was rarely seen in sportswear, but today he wore a black athletic set and sneakers, a single-lens reflex camera slung across his shoulder. Jiang Mu paused a couple of meters behind him, quietly observing. For a moment, she felt dazed. Maybe it was the outfit, but the last two times they’d met, he’d seemed much more mature. Now, he looked almost no different from before: tall, lean, and effortlessly striking, the kind of presence that was hard to look away from.
Jin Chao turned and noticed her standing there, asking, “What are you doing just standing around?”
Jiang Mu walked toward him and replied, “Just thinking about how you haven’t changed at all. What about me? Do I look different?”
Jin Chao gave her a glance. Today, she had tied her hair into a ponytail, radiating youthful energy, yet she wasn’t quite the same as the girl in her teens. Back then, she’d been inexperienced, still naïve and unpolished. Now, she carried a sharper wit.
A flicker of amusement crossed his eyes. “Quite a bit.”
Jiang Mu pressed further, “Which is better, the old me or the current me?”
As soon as she asked, she remembered posing a similar question to him before. He had a knack for dodging direct answers, so just as Jin Chao opened his mouth to reply, she raised a hand to stop him. “I only want a three-word answer this time.”
This time, Jin Chao didn’t hesitate. “Both are good.”
A smile finally bloomed at the corners of Jiang Mu’s eyes, impossible to suppress, and even the air seemed filled with a pleasant fragrance.
As they walked toward the mountain trail, Jin Chao handed Jiang Mu a rectangular phone box. She froze for a moment before accepting it, realizing it was the latest released model, not cheap by any means. She vaguely remembered him mentioning days ago that he had something for her, but she never expected a brand-new phone.
Puzzled, she asked, “Why are you giving me a phone?”
Jin Chao naturally took her backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “Didn’t you say you’d been using your old one for years and wanted to upgrade? Since you’re often out and about, you might as well have a better one.”
It suddenly dawned on her that the lie she’d spun about her ex-boyfriend taking her money to buy gaming gear. She burst into laughter.
Jin Chao stopped walking. “What’s so funny?”
Her eyes curved into crescents. “Do you believe everything I say? You’re the kind of guy who could easily get scammed by other girls, you know.”
Jin Chao lowered his gaze, his expression unreadable. “Are you ‘other girls’?”
Her laughter suddenly faded a little. She leaned closer to him and tilted her head. “Then what am I?”
Jin Chao pressed his lips together and said nothing, snatching the new phone back only to tuck it securely into her backpack.
Jiang Mu then asked, more seriously, “Before we start climbing, I need to confirm you’re still single, right?”
Jin Chao arched a brow. “What does that have to do with hiking?”
Jiang Mu swung her arms casually as she replied, “Of course it’s related. I’m a person with principles; I would never get involved in someone else’s relationship, so I have to make sure.”
The corner of Jin Chao’s mouth curved slightly. “Weren’t we talking about hiking? What exactly are you planning to do to me up there that has anything to do with interfering in someone’s relationship?”
That one line left Jiang Mu speechless, and for some reason, it conjured images in her mind. Especially that phrase, ‘do to me up there—she really hadn’t thought of anything, yet strange memories of when they’d been together suddenly flashed through her head. Her expression turned a little unnatural, and she looked away, muttering, “Well, you don’t seem to have any mental burden about it. Aren’t you afraid that if you give me a phone, my boyfriend might mind?”
Jin Chao replied openly, “If he minds, he can buy you one himself.”
Jiang Mu laughed. “Oh no, he needs to save up for his gaming gear.”
“…”
Jin Chao didn’t respond and simply walked ahead. Jiang Mu chased after him with a grin, asking, “You’ve been hiking here before, right?”
“No.”
Jiang Mu was surprised. “No? The café is so close to the mountain, and you’ve never been up?”
Jin Chao gave a short “Mm.”
“I come hiking here often on weekends. The air’s great, and you should come hike here more often.”
Jin Chao didn’t respond, silently keeping his eyes on the stone-paved path beneath his feet.
On weekend mornings, the trail was always full of hikers. The air had been chilly at first, but before long, their bodies warmed up from the climb. When Jiang Mu hiked alone, she usually moved quickly at a brisk pace, headphones in, but today, walking with Jin Chao, his slower steps unconsciously slowed her down as well.
Every so often, Jin Chao would pause to snap a few photos. Jiang Mu tilted her head curiously. “Since when did you get into photography?”
He took a couple of casual shots, then paused to rest. Jiang Mu leaned in to peek. “What could you possibly capture from dead branches and fallen leaves?”
Jin Chao tucked the camera away. “Something you have to feel.”
“Not feeling it.”
With deliberate nonchalance, he replied, “The soul of nature.”
Jiang Mu crouched to tie her loosened shoelace, glancing up at him. “How did I never notice you were this full of nonsense before?”
As she straightened up, the small jade pendant slipped out from her collar. Jin Chao’s gaze lingered at the hollow of her collarbone, his expression momentarily still. Jiang Mu followed his line of sight, then hastily tucked the pendant back inside her shirt and turned away, walking ahead as if nothing had happened.
Jin Chao followed, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. “Wearing a necklace your ex-boyfriend gave you, your current boyfriend doesn’t mind?”
Jiang Mu choked on her own words thrown back at her. She spun around and huffed, “You’re too slow. Let’s race.”
Jin Chao lowered his gaze indifferently. “No.”
“Why? Afraid you’ll lose to me?”
Standing a few steps below her, bathed in warm sunlight, his eyes glinted with quiet intensity as he replied, “I would lose.”
Jiang Mu crossed her arms and smirked. “How do you know without trying? Loser buys KFC.”
Without waiting for a response, she bounded up the steps. When she finally glanced back after climbing far ahead, Jin Chao was still rooted in place, watching her silently. Hands on her hips, she called out, “What’s wrong? Can’t even handle this little climb?”
A ripple of tension crossed Jin Chao’s eyes. Pressing his lips together, he finally started upward, but no matter how much he quickened his pace, the distance between them only grew. Jiang Ming shrank in his vision, his gaze tightening with every step. That helpless, slipping-through-his-fingers feeling surged back, sharp as the day he’d watched her climb into San Lai’s car.
When Jiang Mu paused to check on him, he was still lagging far behind. She doubled back and stopped short at the sight of fine sweat beading on his forehead.
Somewhat surprised, she said, “Tired already? Do you not exercise much?”
Jin Chao offered a faint smile. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up.”
Jiang Mu tilted her head slightly, puzzled. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then thought better of it. Jin Chao straightened his posture and looked up at her with a faintly mocking glint. “Never heard of conserving strength for a final burst?”
Jiang Mu curled her lips in a faint smirk, turned, and tossed over her shoulder, “I’ll wait for you at the top.”
True to her word, she forged ahead without another glance, soon vanishing from Jin Chao’s sight. Once she was gone, he lowered his gaze to the seemingly endless stone steps stretching before him. Drawing a deep breath, he began his climb. Not wanting to keep her waiting too long, he pressed on without pause. Sweat soaked through his clothes, his breathing grew ragged, yet no trace of Jiang Mu reappeared, no matter how far he climbed.
The year he first got his prosthetic, Jin Chao endured an agonizing period of adjustment. He couldn’t reconcile himself to that lifeless limb as part of his own flesh and blood, couldn’t accept his awkward gait, and had even feared the stares of strangers.
Later, during a month-long stay at the rehabilitation center, the prosthetist’s instructions had done little to help. Even with trousers on, the artificial limb remained glaringly obvious.
No one knew how much effort he had poured into correcting his gait, how many repetitions it had taken to stand before Jiang Mu today without a single flaw in his stance.
But in the end, he was no longer a completely able-bodied man. Prolonged strain on his lower body inevitably caused discomfort, making it impossible to maintain perfect balance indefinitely. To climb faster, Jin Chao abandoned his carefully cultivated gait, letting his movements grow looser, more uneven.
However, Jiang Mu hadn’t actually continued toward the summit. Instead, she had deliberately widened the distance between herself and Jin Chao, stepping off the main trail and into the trees. On either side of the hiking path were narrow, undeveloped tracks. She followed one of these dirt paths uphill, hiding herself behind a large boulder at a higher vantage point, quietly waiting for him.
She had assumed Jin Chao would catch up quickly, but in reality, nearly twenty minutes passed before his figure finally appeared in the distance. Elderly hikers occasionally hurried past him, their strides brisk and effortless.
Jiang Mu frowned as she watched him, a growing unease settling in her chest. Something about his movements felt… off.
Only when he drew closer did she realize his gait was uneven. His weight shifted almost entirely onto his right leg, especially when climbing steps.
Jiang Mu kept quietly watching him like that until Jin Chao walked past her hiding spot and continued climbing higher. Only then did she jump down from the small dirt slope, return to the main path, and call after his back, “Chao Chao.”
Jin Chao paused in surprise at the sound of her voice behind him. He stopped and turned around, and when he saw the solemn look on her face, his gaze trembled faintly. She walked toward him step by step, her eyes slowly lowering before she finally asked, “What’s wrong with your left leg?”
Jin Chao didn’t answer, simply met her gaze in silence. A gust of autumn wind swept between them, sending fallen leaves swirling in tangled eddies.
The loose strands at Jiang Mu’s cheek were blown across her eyes, blurring her vision for a moment, yet her thoughts grew sharper and sharper.
The blaze of colliding vehicles on the mountain road. Their final parting at the little two-story house. The abrupt severing of contact without explanation. Jin Qiang’s evasions. Zhao Meijuan’s careful dissuasions. Pan Kai’s puzzled remarks. Gu Tao’s accidental slip of the truth. His silence when she’d invited him hiking today.
“I’m not a god. In truth, I’m just an ordinary man.”
She could still remember the flicker of loneliness in his eyes when he’d said those words to her years ago. Back then, she hadn’t understood what they meant.
Now, after all these seemingly unrelated fragments had linked together, Jiang Mu felt as if her very soul was trembling inside her. She suddenly took a step toward him, raising her hand to reach for him. Jin Chao, sensitive to the movement, instinctively drew back.
Jiang Mu lifted her gaze to lock firmly on his. In her eyes was a fractured, fearful light as she spoke to him, enunciating each word slowly, “Are you going to hide from me forever?”
Jin Chao’s brows slowly knit together. He had never intended to keep it from her forever. If the time was right, he would tell her, so she could accept it with less difficulty. He just hadn’t expected it to happen today, in this way, so suddenly.
He looked into her eyes, those expressive pupils flickering with unease. He could no longer hide, and it seemed there was nowhere left to hide. All he could do was stand there, lifting his gaze toward the distant, boundless sky.
Jiang Mu slowly bent down, her fingers trembling as they brushed against his left leg. Jin Chao didn’t move, but his breath hitched the moment her touch reached him.
At first, there was nothing unusual. She could feel the outline of his leg through the fabric. Following the seam of his trousers, her hand gradually slid downward… until suddenly, the line that should have connected to his knee vanished. When her fingertips met something cold and unyielding, the sound of her heart shattering was almost deafening. Tears spilled over instantly. Her wrist jerked back as if burned, her hands flying up to cover her face as her legs gave way beneath her.
He wasn’t a god. He hadn’t walked away unscathed from that accident.
She couldn’t fathom what it had been like waking up in the hospital to this reality. She couldn’t imagine how, in that state, he had still managed to sit across from her with a smile and say goodbye. And she especially couldn’t bear to picture the days after she left… him alone, facing sunrise after sunset with no one by his side.
He had no family. No one to tend to his daily needs. No one to comfort him when he was vulnerable. No one was there when the pain was unbearable.
No one.
And at the moment he had needed her most, she had left him.
She’d thought that leaving the country and seeing the world had exposed her to life’s harshest truths. Only now did she realize: at her most naive age, he had shouldered the weight of reality with a lie, shielding her from its brutality so she could move forward without hesitation.
Years of resentment toward him collapsed in an instant. Jiang Mu’s heart tore apart, and she could no longer hold back. She broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.