Chapter 47
Jiang Mu returned to the same routine she had when she first came to Tonggang. As long as school ended early on Fridays or during the weekends, she would stay at the car shop, doing practice problems and memorizing. After the New Year, the car shop became even busier. Jin Chao turned the back shed into a temporary storage area, completely enclosed and filled with boxes. There were often people coming to pick up goods, all unfamiliar faces, and they mostly came at night.
The mysterious activity made Jiang Mu suspect, at one point, that Jin Chao had started some side business in drug trafficking. But in reality, she had seen those things, and they were just car parts. Jiang Mu didn’t know if he had found a new way to make money, but lately, Jin Chao had been buying strawberries by the box. One day, she even saw him handing a bank card to Tie Gongji.
The turnover in the back shed was quite high. If Jiang Mu hadn’t gone over for two days, the boxes would have already been cleared out.
Jin Chao was very cautious with the items in the back shed. During the day, when the car shop was open for business, he was afraid customers might accidentally wander in, so the back warehouse door was always locked. Only when the front rolling shutter was closed would the back shed door open. Jiang Mu, being an insider now, wasn’t deliberately kept in the dark. When she asked Jin Chao what those things were, he answered truthfully: they were wholesale parts.
Though March kept Jin Chao busy, he was still around. After wrapping up a long day’s work, he would return to the break room and, at Jiang Mu’s request, explain some of the more advanced physics concepts to her.
Before this, Jiang Mu had always thought that physics was a boring and tedious subject, full of complicated theories and annoying formulas.
But Jin Chao had unlocked this door to the future for her. Sometimes, when she was learning, Jiang Mu felt like she wasn’t just studying physics but learning mathematics. Other times, she felt like it wasn’t mathematics at all but more like philosophy, becoming more and more abstract.
The Biot-Savart law almost made Jiang Mu cry. At night, she dreamt about triple integrals and surface integrals, and that was just the electromagnetic part, not to mention quantum mechanics. Jin Chao had only explained concepts slightly beyond what was covered in her high school textbooks, yet Jiang Mu was already wailing in frustration, insisting that his brain must be wired differently from hers.
The deeper she delved into the subject, the more questions she had—so many that sometimes she’d bombard Jin Chao with a flurry of “whys,” making him laugh. He told her it was a good sign, “To judge the beauty of the universe and analyze the principles of all things, having questions means you’re curious. That’s a great start.”
The benefit was that after some time when she returned to high school physics problems, she was already able to handle them with ease.
Jiang Mu could tell Jin Chao had been exhausted lately. After squeezing a glass of orange juice for her at night, he would make himself a strong cup of coffee, something he never used to drink. She wondered if it was because he’d been pushing himself too hard.
The lounge area was always filled with the rich aroma of coffee, accompanied by Jin Chao’s low, magnetic voice, which made Jiang Mu gradually grow fond of the scent.
A few times, she wanted to try it herself, but Jin Chao would chide her, “You’re too young for strong coffee.”
Of course, Jiang Mu refused to admit she was “too young.” Once, while Jin Chao was out, she sneaked a sip from his cup, only to immediately gulp down a mouthful of orange juice to wash away the bitterness. When Jin Chao returned, he picked up his coffee and paused just before drinking, lifting his gaze to her with an amused, lazy tone, “Did you like it?”
Jiang Mu, thoroughly embarrassed, mumbled, “…I think I might still be too young.”
By April, Jin Chao had become so busy that Jiang Mu rarely saw him. Most of the time, he wasn’t even at the car shop. According to Tie Gongji, Jin Chao was out running a business. Since Jiang Mu hadn’t yet stepped into the real world, her idea of “running a business” was something like sales, having to go door-to-door and pitch things tirelessly. But clearly, the kind of business Jin Chao was doing was different from what she imagined.
Several times after evening self-study, she called him, only for him to hang up first and text her back later, or sometimes, it would take him ten minutes to return her call. When she asked where he was, he’d just say he was busy and tell her to head home early, then message him when she got back home.
Throughout the entire month of April, Jiang Mu barely saw him. During the day, she had classes, and sometimes, her evening study sessions would last until nearly 10 PM. Even when she had free time on Sundays, Jin Chao might not even be at the shop.
One night, she went to bed at 1 AM, exhausted but unable to fall asleep. She sent him a pitiful emoji, thinking that he wouldn’t reply so quickly. To her surprise, just as she put her phone down, his message came through: “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”
Jiang Mu stared at the screen for a long time, unsure of how to reply. Lately, during self-study, the memory of coffee’s rich aroma kept drifting into her thoughts, unsettling her.
After a long moment of hesitation, she finally replied, “Nothing, I just wanted to smell the coffee scent.”
Jin Chao replied, “Go to sleep early.”
Jiang Mu wasn’t sure if he was still out working. He had entered society too early, and his social circle was vast and chaotic; what she knew about him was just the tip of the iceberg. Aside from the business at the car shop, she knew almost nothing about him. He could draw blueprints and communicate with people using the technical English terms for car parts, but she had no idea who the regular customers who came to buy goods were, nor did she know who he interacted with every day when he went out.
Various types of people frequently came to the car shop looking for Jin Chao. Once, Jiang Mu even saw several luxury cars parked outside the shop, and Jin Chao was called away directly. One of the people in the car was a foreigner. Jin Chao went with them and was gone for the entire night, leaving without a trace.
In Jiang Mu’s eyes, his life was split in two. What he showed her was the monotonous, repetitive work life, but what he never showed her was a world she couldn’t imagine.
Meanwhile, her own life remained simple, confined between home and school, so simple that she had no idea about the fluctuating chaos of the outside world.
Staring at the blank ceiling, the countdown in her heart seemed to quicken. In just two months, she’d face the college entrance exams, and her future was uncertain. After that, she would inevitably part ways with Jin Chao, whether she left for another city or another country.
Four years of university, four years… how many springs, summers, autumns, and winters would that be? Would she still be herself by then? And would he still be the same person she knew now?
Everything seemed like an unsolved equation, and as the date for the college entrance exam drew closer, Jiang Mu grew more anxious.
The next day, as usual, she was heading to the bus stop with her school bag. Just as she left the neighborhood, she saw Jin Chao leaning against the door of a black SUV. The sun had just risen, its pale light spilling over the earth. Dressed in a work jacket and jeans, his figure was sharp and lean against the soft glow of dawn, the faint light wrapping around him like a thin mist. The image slammed into her vision without warning, and in that instant, she suddenly understood the root of last night’s restlessness.
She might, maybe, possibly, have developed feelings for this man whom she had always called “brother”. The kind of feelings that she shouldn’t have, feelings that were uncontrollable and overwhelming.
Her face remained expressionless, a mask of calm, but inside, the moment she saw Jin Chao, a tidal wave had already crashed through her. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how he would react if she told him, and didn’t know what would happen to their relationship once the words were out in the open.
Perhaps it was because she hadn’t seen him for many days, but Jiang Mu felt that he had lost some weight, and the angles of his face were sharper, more defined. She stood there, frozen in place, staring at him until Jin Chao bent down, took a cup from the car, and handed it to her. “There’s no coffee, only soy milk.”
Jiang Mu’s emotions were complicated. She walked over, took the warm soy milk from his hands, and Jin Chao drove her to school. On the way, he asked, “How’s your studying going recently?”
Jiang Mu absentmindedly replied, “It’s fine.”
Her eyes, however, remained fixed on the window. In truth, she knew that Jin Chao had always been good to her. Her decision to come to Tonggang to study had been partly out of spite. Whether it was adjusting to her father’s home when she first arrived or the unpleasant argument with her mother during the New Year, if it weren’t for Jin Chao being by her side, she would have likely felt like she was spending years instead of months.
But in this kindness, how much of it was leftover affection from the past? How much was sibling love? And how much of it was something else entirely that she couldn’t understand? Jiang Mu wasn’t sure, but one thing she was certain of was that once she spoke her feelings aloud, Jin Chao might not be cruel, but he definitely wouldn’t accept her feelings.
Since the New Year, Jiang Mu had noticed that no matter how late she stayed at the car shop, Jin Chao would always make sure to send her back to Jin Qiang’s house and wouldn’t let her stay at his place overnight.
He still cared about her studies and took care of her life, but there was always a clear boundary between them. Every time Jiang Mu came close to crossing that line, Jin Chao would subtly, firmly place her back in her rightful place. She couldn’t go beyond that boundary and feared that if she spoke out, things would truly change. After the college entrance exam in two months, they would most likely lose all contact.
Jin Chao parked the car on the side of the road across from the school. Jiang Mu turned to look at him, wanting to say something several times but unsure of what to say. In the end, she simply asked, “Are you still very busy lately?”
Jin Chao gave a slight nod. Jiang Mu muttered under her breath, “Why work so hard? Are you in a hurry to make money and get married?”
Jin Chao chuckled, turned his gaze to her, and teased, “Are you offering to introduce someone to me?”
Jiang Mu’s expression soured, and her tone was sharp. “Sure, there are plenty of beauties at our school.”
Jin Chao smirked slightly. “Too young, not my type.”
Jiang Mu didn’t say another word. She simply got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. Jin Chao rolled down the window, resting his chin on his arm, watching as Jiang Mu walked from in front of the car to the side of the road. He casually called after her, “When you texted me last night, I was still in Wu City.”
Jiang Mu stopped in her tracks, just a step away from the car door, and turned to look back. Jin Chao’s deep-set eyes, framed by thick lashes, were focused on her. He was smiling, but there was still a hint of exhaustion between his brows. His tone remained light as he continued, “I rushed back this morning just to drive you to school, and you’re all acting pouty like this?”
Jiang Mu blinked slowly and muttered, “I’m not pouting.”
Jin Chao’s fingers casually adjusted the rearview mirror, turning it in her direction. He raised an eyebrow and said, “Take a look for yourself.”
Jiang Mu pressed her lips together, unwilling to admit it. Jin Chao reached out and gently tapped her head. “Go on, you’re going to be late.”
Jiang Mu’s eyes remained fixed on him, afraid that once she turned away, she wouldn’t see him again for several days. Jin Chao leaned back in his seat and said to her, “I’m not leaving. I’ll watch you go inside.”
The school bell rang, and Jiang Mu had no choice but to turn away and run. By the time she reached the third floor and looked through the hallway toward the school gate, the SUV was still parked there. She wasn’t sure if Jin Chao could see her, but she raised her hand and waved toward the car.
Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out and saw that Jin Chao had sent her a message: Focus on class, don’t overthink things.
……
At the end of April, after evening self-study, Yan Xiaoyi insisted on dragging Jiang Mu to a new fried skewer stall that had taken North Dongqiao Street by storm, especially because they only opened in the evenings. It was just the right time for them to go.
Jiang Mu hadn’t eaten much at school, and since the detour was only a couple of bus stops away, she agreed to go with Yan Xiaoyi to North Dongqiao Street.
When they arrived, Jiang Mu realized that the street was quite lively, with all sorts of things like night market stalls, neon-lit bathhouses, and mahjong parlors. Especially at night, the whole place was brightly lit and filled with people.
By the time they finally found the famous fried skewer shop, there was already a long line. The delicious smell of food wafted through the entire street. The aroma alone could’ve drawn people from blocks away. After what felt like forever, they finally got their order, a paper bag overflowing with crispy, fragrant skewers, and started walking back to the bus stop, munching as they went.
By the time they were near the bus station, they had almost finished eating. Yan Xiaoyi was still talking about the new historical detective drama, complaining that she hadn’t had time to catch up on it. She planned to binge-watch it as soon as the college entrance exams were over. Jiang Mu casually asked which celebrities were in it.
Across the street was a nightclub with an extravagant sign and bright lights that illuminated the opposite side of the street. Jiang Mu glanced over, and at that moment, a group of people walked out of the nightclub. As her eyes casually swept past them, she heard Yan Xiaoyi mention a familiar male celebrity, and she was about to ask how that person had ended up in a historical drama.
But suddenly, her gaze froze. She turned sharply, and amidst the crowd, she saw Jin Chao. If it weren’t for his tall stature standing out, she might not have recognized him. He was wearing a black shirt with the top button undone and an arm slung around a woman in a dress that left little to the imagination. He was talking confidently among a group of men, exuding charm and ease.
Jiang Mu stopped in her tracks, staring at him, her blood running cold as she listened to the laughter coming from across the street. Even though there was just a street between them, Jiang Mu felt as if the other side of the street belonged to another world, a world of neon lights, luxury, and indulgence. It was a world of adult games, a world Jin Chao had never shown her.
Yan Xiaoyi stopped beside Jiang Mu and followed her gaze, asking, “What are you looking at?”
Maybe Jiang Mu’s gaze lingered too long, but Jin Chao noticed and turned his head. Jiang Mu stood there by the street, in her school uniform, carrying her backpack.
That brief moment of eye contact reminded Jiang Mu of what he had said before: “Too young, not my type.” Her vision blurred.
There was a flicker of surprise in Jin Chao’s eyes, but it lasted only a moment before he looked away. One of the men in front of him spoke, “Brother Yin booked a room at Fengyuan. Wanna go there and have some fun?”
Jin Chao, still holding the woman in his arms, laughed freely, “If you’d told me earlier, I wouldn’t have drunk so much. It messes with my performance.”
The woman beside him chuckled, “We don’t need you to do anything.”
The men around them laughed, too. Someone cursed, “He gets all the benefits just because he’s good-looking, always has people waiting on him.”
Jin Chao’s smile remained carefree, even flirtatious.
Jiang Mu turned around, struggling to steady her trembling voice as she said to Yan Xiaoyi, “I’m not taking the bus with you anymore.”
After speaking, she hurriedly walked toward the other end of the street, her steps growing faster with each one. She didn’t know what she was running from, only that the darkness seemed to be swallowing her up, the neon signs along the street blinked out one by one, and the ground beneath her feet felt like quicksand, pulling her down into darkness.