Chapter 5
Jin Qiang’s house only had two rooms. Despite being almost 8 years old, Jin Xin still shared a room with her parents, while the other small room became Jiang Mu’s place to sleep at night.
After a long day of traveling, she surveyed the less-than-ten-square-meter room. There was a wooden writing desk, completely empty, as though deliberately tidied up. On the wall hung a large dartboard, with three darts neatly embedded in the bullseye. Two boxes of clothes and supplies that Jiang Yinghan had sent her in advance were neatly stacked in the corner of the room.
She wasn’t sure if it was Jin Chao who had brought them up, but the image of him carrying the boxes up the five flights of stairs flashed in her mind.
The white latex paint on the walls was slightly yellowed, but the bed was very clean, carrying a fresh scent of sunlight. Jiang Mu wondered if this room had once been Jin Chao’s bedroom.
But now that she had moved in, where was Jin Chao sleeping?
Later that evening, Jiang Mu stepped out of her room to take a look. She realized that Jin Chao was not home and seemed to have already gone out. The gift box she had given him was sitting on the living room shelf, unopened, which made her feel a bit disappointed.
The next day, Jiang Mu went with Jin Qiang to the school. The school was not very close to Jin Qiang’s house, and she somehow ended up taking two buses with him to get there.
It was a bit surreal for Jiang Mu. In her childhood, whenever there were parent-teacher meetings or school events that required a parent to attend, it was always Jiang Yinghan who came. When it came to Jin Chao’s school events, it was always Jin Qiang. It seemed to have become an unwritten rule in the family.
This led to the fact that even after her parent’s divorce, Jin Qiang never had the chance to participate in her school activities. Every year, during the cultural performance when parents were invited, it was always Jiang Yinghan who attended. Despite Jiang Mu’s consistent efforts to excel, even earning first place in school competitions, Jiang Yinghan never made a big deal of it. At most, she would reward her with a meal at KFC. While watching other fathers lift their children over their shoulders, Jiang Mu did feel a bit envious, but she would never show it in front of Jiang Yinghan.
She never expected that after all these years, she would still be accompanied by her father to school to meet her teachers. The feeling was oddly bittersweet.
Tonggang High School was even larger than Jiang Mu’s previous school. As soon as they entered the gate, Jin Qiang said, “After your mom called me, I ran over here quickly and contacted Jin Chao’s old homeroom teacher, Old Ma. He said you have good grades, and he’s helped a lot. So, when we meet him later, be polite.”
Jiang Mu glanced at the red plastic bag Jin Qiang was holding, wrapped tightly in several layers. She wasn’t sure what was inside, but hearing his words, she asked in surprise, “Brother, I mean Jin Chao used to study here?”
“Yes, he did.”
Jiang Mu hesitantly asked, “I heard he stopped studying after high school, why?”
Jin Qiang glanced at her, awkwardly squeezed the plastic bag in his hands, and muttered, “He couldn’t continue his studies.”
Jiang Mu looked at the red brick building of the school, with the school motto hanging on the wall: “Small things lead to big things, attitude determines the future.” The twelve large characters shone brightly under the sun.
She couldn’t understand why Jin Chao couldn’t continue his studies. It felt as though in the nine years she missed, he had completely transformed into a different person.
Jiang Mu followed Jin Qiang to the office, where she met Old Ma, the teacher her brother had mentioned. Mr. Ma was in his forties, with a distinctive appearance. He had a large mole beside his nose, and there was even a small tuft of hair growing from it. When he spoke, the tuft of hair moved along with the skin, making it difficult for Jiang Mu to take her eyes off it.
While handling the paperwork, Old Ma asked Jiang Mu a few questions about her past academic performance, “I see English and Chinese are your strong subjects, so why did your college entrance exam score drop so much?”
Jiang Mu casually responded, “I didn’t perform well.”
To her surprise, Old Ma suddenly brought up Jin Chao and said, “Then you should learn from your brother. His mental toughness is amazing. He dislocated his right shoulder the day before, hung an IV all night, and still came in the top ten in the year despite using his left arm.”
Jiang Mu froze for a moment, and Old Ma continued, muttering, “But you and your brother don’t look much alike, though.”
Jin Qiang smiled awkwardly beside them but didn’t respond, and Jiang Mu lowered her head without saying a word. In the past, she might have countered, saying, “We looked alike when we were younger,” because that’s what people used to say around their neighborhood. But now, she really couldn’t bring herself to say it.
After finishing the paperwork, Jin Qiang told Jiang Mu to take a walk around the school while he stayed to chat with Old Ma.
Jiang Mu walked down to the second floor and stood by the window. She looked out at the vast playground ahead of her, with a basketball court to the right. Since it was a holiday, the area was empty. The blazing sun cast its warm glow on the ground, and everything around her felt like a fresh new beginning.
Jiang Mu turned and noticed a display case in the hallway. She walked over to it and paused in front of the glass, observing the showcase of student competition highlights and past school events, complete with pictures and descriptions.
What caught her off guard was seeing a familiar figure in one of the photos. It was from a relay race, capturing a moment when a boy, mid-stride, turned to grab the baton from the runner behind him. His body was tense with energy, his eyes filled with an unstoppable drive. The sunlight hit just right, and the image radiated youthful vigor. The students at the sidelines were on their feet, arms raised in excitement. It was as if she could almost hear the cheers through the photo.
The person in the picture looked just like the image of Jin Chao she had always imagined. But what had happened to him? Why had he given up on his studies not long after this moment?
Jiang Mu stood still for a long time, lost in thought. When she finally turned to leave, she saw Jin Qiang pulling the item wrapped in multiple layers of plastic from his bag. Inside, there were two packs of cigarettes. He tried to hand them to Old Ma, but the teacher hesitated, pushing them back a few times. In the end, Jin Qiang placed them on Old Ma’s desk and motioned for Jiang Mu to follow him.
As they walked out of the office, Jiang Mu couldn’t help but think back to what her mother, Jiang Yinghan, had said to her before leaving for abroad.
“I’ll transfer your living expenses to your dad. He didn’t want it, but when you get there, don’t spend his money. Otherwise, he’ll have another reason to complain behind my back, saying I’m being unreasonable.”
Jiang Mu hadn’t fully understood what her mother meant, but she clearly remembered the part about not spending her father’s money.
On their way back, she casually asked, “How much do those two packs of cigarettes cost? My mom said if there’s anything you need money for, I should give it to you.”
Jin Qiang snorted sarcastically in his throat, “So your mother values money more than anything else. Tell her that I am not as narrow-minded as her.”
Jiang Mu also didn’t understand why giving him money was narrow-minded?
Seeing that she had been silent all along, Jin Qiang later added, “Don’t think too much. Old Ma was very concerned about your brother’s affairs in the past few years. I owe him a favor, not entirely for you.”
Jiang Mu wanted to ask what happened to Jin Chao in the past few years, but Jin Qiang had to go to work and sent her to the gate of the community and left. This made her very curious about what happened to Jin Chao, especially when she thought of the words of the bearded man last night, Jiang Mu felt uneasy.
After returning home, Zhao Meijuan opened the door for her and told her that there were dumplings in the pot and asked her to make them herself.
Jiang Mu has been picky about food since she was a child. Before her parents divorced, only Jin Chao could coax and deceive her. He made up fairy tales about all the vegetables that Jiang Mu hated and fed them to her while she was listening attentively.
Since Jin Chao left with his father, Jiang Yinghan couldn’t do anything about her. The more she scolded her, the less she would eat. Those unpalatable vegetables became hard to swallow after losing the soul infused by her brother. When Jiang Mu was in primary school, she was malnourished for a while, and Jiang Yinghan was anxious to take her to see a Chinese doctor everywhere.
Although she got a little better when she was older, she still didn’t like eating noodles. After coming here, she ate noodles for one meal and dumplings for two meals, and she felt sick all over.
She was embarrassed to order takeout in front of Zhao Meijuan, so she could only take out five and eat alone at the table.
Zhao Meijuan was sitting on the opposite side of the table, trying to teach Jin Xing math. Ten minutes passed, but the problem was still stuck on the basic equation of 4 plus 7. Zhao Meijuan’s frustration was obvious, her voice growing louder as she yelled, “Look at you! So slow! Has your brain turned to mush?!”
“???”
Jiang Mu, having grown up in the south, rarely heard such creative insults. She glanced at the little girl, who looked confused and felt a little sorry for her. Taking the opportunity to reach for a tissue, Jiang Mu silently held up two fingers.
As expected, the little girl looked over and said, “4 plus 7 equals 2.”
“…” to
Jiang Mu quickly stood up, washed her plate in the kitchen, and returned to her room.
The entire afternoon, the sound of Zhao Meijuan’s yelling could be heard from outside the door. Despite the intense “roar of a lioness” BGM, Jiang Mu somehow managed to fall asleep. Dinner was more dumplings, and once again, Jiang Mu painfully ate five more. Jin Chao hadn’t come home all day. When she casually asked about him at dinner, Jin Qiang simply said, “He’s busy. Don’t worry about him.”
That night, lying in bed, Jiang Mu tossed and turned, her mind racing. She kept thinking back to the conversation she overheard in the hallway the night before, “Are you really going? Don’t you care about your life?”
Where was Jin Chao going? What was he up to? The bearded man had deliberately stayed outside the door, clearly unwilling for Jin Qiang and the others to know. Was it something dangerous? What was Jin Chao doing now that he wasn’t in school anymore?
Jiang Mu’s mind was filled with a storm of questions that kept her wide awake. She pulled out her phone and opened WeChat, typing in the search bar to add a new contact. Sure enough, she found Jin Chao’s profile with ease. His name was simply “Chao,” one character, and his profile picture was of a cool-looking bottle of alcohol.
She hesitated for a moment, then pressed the “Add Friend” button. She sat there, waiting quietly. Five minutes passed, but nothing happened. The screen remained still, and the silence made her heart flutter. Her mind wandered back to what Old Ma had said earlier, Jin Chao had gotten into a fight, dislocated his arm, and somehow the thought of it filled her with unease. What was he doing? Was he out there doing something reckless? Was he planning to hurt someone?
She shook her head, pushing the thought away, but the worry lingered. She quickly tapped the “Add” button again. After another half minute, her phone finally made a sound. A notification popped up: the friend request had been accepted, and immediately after, a simple question mark appeared in the chat.
The question mark left Jiang Mu speechless. What was she supposed to say? If she asked, “What are you doing?” wouldn’t that sound strange?
She debated for a while, trying to figure out how to phrase something that would get him to talk without sounding too nosy or suspicious. After a few moments of hesitation, she typed a simple message: [Where are you?]
At the moment, Jin Chao was chatting with a group of people including Jin Fengzi at a barbecue stall in the back street of Yexiang. The conversation was serious until suddenly, Jin Chao’s phone buzzed. He ignored it at first, but then the notifications started flooding in. His companions at the table paused, noticing his distraction, and all eyes were on him. With a frown, Jin Chao reluctantly took out his phone.
At that time, Jin Chao was talking with Jin Fengzi and a group of people at a barbecue stall in the back street of Yexiang. The topic was quite serious at first, but Jin Chao’s cell phone suddenly rang. He didn’t pay attention at first, but soon it started buzzing incessantly. All the men at the table stopped talking and looked at Jin Chao. He frowned and took out his cell phone impatiently. He saw a friend request, and after clicking it, there was a row of request records. When he saw it was from a woman, he was about to lock his phone and ignore it, but then he glanced at the name again: “Hard to Wake Up”, and the profile picture was a cartoon moon with bunny ears.
He lowered his head and clicked into the person’s WeChat Moments to take a quick look. It showed that only the last three days of posts were visible. There was only one message, “Goodbye, my Suzhou,” accompanied by a photo of Suzhou Station.
Jin Chao exited and sent a question mark in response to the friend request.
……
After two minutes, Jin Chao finally sent a reply to Jiang Mu’s [Where are you?] message, [Still not asleep?]
Jiang Mu glanced at the time on her phone, five minutes until midnight. It was indeed late, but she couldn’t fall asleep at all. So, she casually typed something, [I’m hungry.]
Jin Chao occasionally lowered his head to reply. His brothers, unable to bear it any longer, changed the subject and laughed, “Youjiu, who are you texting?”
Another one chimed in, “Is it a girl? You got something going on?”
Jin Chao didn’t respond. He locked his phone and suddenly stood up. His group of friends stared at him in confusion. He waved his hand and paid the bill, telling them, “You guys drink. I have something to do.”
With that, he walked toward the alley entrance and hailed a taxi.
……
Jiang Mu didn’t receive a reply from Jin Chao for a long time. She opened his Moments to see what he was up to, but his privacy settings were in place, so she couldn’t see anything.
She rolled over in bed. What had started as a casual remark made her realize that she was actually hungry. Her stomach growled, and she realized that five dumplings were definitely not enough to fill her up.
She touched her stomach and quickly sat up in bed, about to make peace with the dumplings. Suddenly, her phone buzzed.
Chao: [Come down.]
Jiang Mu jumped up from the bed, barefoot. She pulled back the curtains and looked down. Under the bright moonlight, a black figure stood by the carport, his gaze steady as he stared up at her. A faint glow of embers sparkled in his hand.
Translator’s Note:
Youjiu – Jin Chao’s nickname among his friends. The name directly translates to “have alcohol” in English.