Chapter 11
Jiang Mu’s picky eating habits, which she had since childhood, hadn’t improved much as she grew older, especially when it came to vegetables. Green peppers, chrysanthemum greens, celery, and carrots were all vegetables she resolutely refused to touch. She didn’t eat duck or goose meat, didn’t spit out watermelon seeds, found grapes too troublesome, had an itchy throat from eating kiwi fruits, only liked crunchy apples, and couldn’t stomach the soft ones.
Her mother, Jiang Yinghan, had scolded her countless times about this over the years. As she got older, though Jiang Yinghan wasn’t as harsh about forcing her to eat these unpalatable foods, she always said, “Who would want to marry you if you won’t eat this and won’t touch that? How would anyone live with you?”
Jiang Mu had never thought that far ahead. She would always nonchalantly reply, “Then I won’t get married. Isn’t it fine to live with you forever?”
But when she said that, she never imagined that one day her mother would marry someone else first and leave her.
Jiang Mu finished her bowl of rice quickly, though she hadn’t eaten much of the vegetables. She mostly focused on the potatoes in the stew. By the time she set down her chopsticks, the others hadn’t even started eating.
Jin Chao saw she was done and stood up, walking into the inner room. A moment later, he came out holding a bag and handed it to her, “You can check if it fits.”
Jiang Mu took the bag and opened it to find the school uniform from the high school. She pulled out the deep red and white striped top, which had the school emblem embroidered on the chest. The uniform was very clean and smelled faintly of laundry detergent as if it were brand new.
Xiao Yang saw this and chimed in, “This is really at the bottom of my master’s suitcase. I thought he was going to a class reunion and almost helped him throw it in the washing machine with his work clothes.”
Jiang Mu inhaled the fresh scent of laundry detergent and said, “It’s fine, it’s quite clean.”
Xiao Yang replied, “Of course it’s clean. My master hand-washed it separately.”
Jiang Mu paused for a moment, glancing at Jin Chao. He was holding a beer in his hand with a calm expression.
San Lai laughed, “I thought so. A couple of days ago, I saw the school uniform hanging by the door, and I was feeling nostalgic, ready to try it on. But your master yelled at me, saying my hands were covered in dog hair and to stay away from his things. Turns out, he was planning to give it to someone.”
After saying this, San Lai looked at Jiang Mu with a playful smile and added, “Take good care of that uniform. Youjiu didn’t even have the chance to wear it himself. That’s the only one. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I’m also an alumnus of the high school. By seniority, you should call me ‘Senior San Lai.’”
Before Jiang Mu could respond, Jin Chao spoke up, “Finish eating and head back early.”
Jiang Mu folded the uniform neatly and put it back in the bag. She looked up at Jin Chao and asked, “Can I finish my homework here before I leave?”
She couldn’t discern any emotion in Jin Chao’s eyes. This was the biggest difference she felt in him since their last encounter.
The Jin Chao from before had bright eyes. Through his gaze, she could feel the richness of his emotions, whether passionate or downcast. His feelings were always vivid. But now, the light in his eyes was gone. No matter when she looked at him, his gaze was always dull, as though he had hidden all his experiences behind those dark pupils. There was no fluctuation, no way to peer into them.
Jin Chao just stared back at her, his demeanor indifferent and aloof. Jiang Mu didn’t shy away, as if the two were silently competing in some unspoken way.
Xiao Yang and Tie Gongji were unsure of the situation. They thought Jiang Mu was Youjiu’s little sister and, judging by the looks of it, seemed like Youjiu wasn’t too eager for her to stay. They didn’t want to intrude, so they stayed quiet, while San Lai sat with a mocking smile, drinking his beer.
After a moment, Jin Chao finally spoke with a casual tone, “Call back home to let them know.”
Jiang Mu nodded and stood up, heading toward the repair room. San Lai broke the silence, trying to ease the tension, “My cats in the shop eat more than she does.”
Jin Chao glanced at her small frame, his gaze darkening slightly.
Jiang Mu made a phone call to Jin Qiang, telling him she was doing homework at Jin Chao’s place. Jin Qiang asked why she was at Jin Chao’s, and she replied that she had come over after school since she was hungry. Jin Qiang didn’t press her further.
Since coming to Tonggang, her days had been a monotonous routine of school and returning to that house. Today, Jiang Mu didn’t feel like going home early. It wasn’t that Zhao Meijuan had treated her badly, though, truth be told, Jiang Mu wasn’t entirely sure how Zhao Meijuan felt about her. If anything, her attitude was confusing. On one hand, she wasn’t exactly warm, but on the other hand, she wasn’t unkind either, she’d make her bathwater, at least. Jiang Mu never knew how to handle her.
More often than not, when she looked at Zhao Meijuan, Jin Qiang, and Jin Xin, she felt that they were the real family.
All these years, her mother had raised her alone, while her father had long since started his new family. What had once been just a mental picture now felt all too real, and it made her feel like an outsider.
But on the other hand, the future her mother was about to step into filled her with frustration, worry, and anxiety.
She didn’t know how Jin Chao had faced all of this before, facing the fact that Jin Qiang had started a new family with another woman, facing the family she once knew drifting away from her. Did he feel uncomfortable? Did he, at some point, feel as lost and frustrated as she did?
She had no way of knowing and didn’t want to probe. She just wanted to briefly escape, so she sat there in the messy lounge area, doing her homework, occasionally looking up through the glass to see Jin Chao and the others drinking and chatting by the door. It brought her a sense of warmth and liveliness, like the glow of fireworks. At least in this unfamiliar place, she didn’t feel as lonely and adrift.
They drank until almost 9 PM. After packing up, Tie Gongji left. Xiao Yang stayed behind with Jin Chao to finish up some work in the repair room. They didn’t disturb Jiang Mu in the lounge area, and from the glass window, they could see her absorbed in her homework, occasionally flipping through her test papers.
Around 10 PM, San Lai knocked twice on the glass from outside. Jiang Mu heard the sound, looked up, and saw San Lai holding two Cornetto ice creams, lifting one and calling out to her, “Come out and have a cold snack, don’t study until silly.”
Jiang Mu put down her pen, opened the door, and walked outside. San Lai handed her the Cornetto ice cream in his right hand and said, “Only the chocolate flavor left, here you go.”
Jiang Mu was a bit surprised and asked, “How did you know I like chocolate?”
“Youjiu asked me to take one for you,” San Lai answered with a grin.
Jiang Mu turned around, searching for Jin Chao, but found that he wasn’t in the repair room. She couldn’t help but ask, “Where is he?”
San Lai casually shrugged. “Probably busy in the back. Want to come to my pet shop?”
Jiang Mu didn’t refuse. She tore open the Cornetto wrapper and followed San Lai to the next door, the pet shop. As soon as the door opened, cats and dogs inside began to make a commotion, each one making strange noises. Jiang Mu watched helplessly as San Lai’s footsteps stopped and he waved his arms high, like an elegant conductor.
The surprising part was that despite his ungraceful appearance, wearing mismatched blue-and-white slippers, it worked. The chaos in the store immediately quieted down, and all the animals went silent.
Jiang Mu was astonished. “How did you do that?”
San Lai turned around, clutching his chest dramatically, and said, “As a king, it’s essential to have the skills of jungle fighting.”
“…You’ve played too many video games, haven’t you?”
San Lai chuckled, “The industry is currently in a downturn, so what else is there to do but play games to pass the time and ease the boredom? Just look at whatever you want.”
Jiang Mu walked over to a glass display case. There were quite a few common cat breeds with some British Shorthair, Blue Cats, and Blue-White cats, but all of them were sprawled out in disinterest, looking completely worn out. No matter how Jiang Mu pressed her face against the glass and tried to get their attention, none of them seemed interested in engaging with her.
After finishing her Cornetto, San Lai waved at her from inside and said, “Come here and take a look.”
She walked over to the fence he was referring to and leaned to peek inside. A golden retriever was lying inside, the very one they had been discussing earlier during dinner, the famous Miss Xishi.
In front of Xishi were four tiny puppies nursing, but oddly, the puppies were all different colors, one was golden, one was gray, and one was pure black. The strange thing was despite being born to a golden retriever, the puppies had different fur colors.
Perhaps because of its odd appearance, the pure black puppy seemed to be shunned by its siblings. It kept trying to get closer to its mother, but its small, wobbly legs couldn’t hold it up, and it kept tumbling over, which was both pitiful and amusing.
Jiang Mu pointed to the little black one and asked, “Why isn’t its mom taking care of it?”
San Lai glanced over, “It’s tough for anyone to treat all their kids equally, let alone dogs. This black one was born lifeless, and Xishi dragged it out of the shop. I found it and saved it.”
Jiang Mu crouched down, her heart aching as she watched the tiny creature, “Poor thing.”
San Lai bent down, scooped up the black puppy, and handed it to Jiang Mu. “You want to hold it?”
Jiang Mu took the tiny puppy carefully in her hands. It was so small, only two days old, and as soon as she cradled it, her heart melted. The little black puppy nuzzled against her, sniffing her skin as if searching for something familiar. Jiang Mu couldn’t help but smile, the ticklish sensation making her laugh softly. She leaned down, gently rubbing her cheek against the tiny bundle of fur, feeling her heart soften even more.
Jiang Mu recalled something and turned to San Lai, “When I was little, I found a little black dog in my neighborhood. It followed me all the way, but my mom wouldn’t let me keep it.”
She only shared half the story, while the other half was about her and Jin Chao had found a stray dog, covered in dirt and a bit wild, and tried to keep it hidden. Jiang Yinghan had been furious when she found out and insisted that they get rid of it.
Jiang Mu had cried and clung to Jin Chao, who was equally unsure of what to do. Eventually, they decided to let the dog go, but instead of letting it roam, they secretly hid it in a cardboard box under a bridge in the back of the neighborhood. Every day after school, they would sneakily buy sausage and go feed the little dog. They even named it Lightning, thinking it was a cool name. However, after only a few days, the dog disappeared, and they never saw it again.
San Lai suddenly chuckled, “Want to keep it? I can give it to you.”
Though Jiang Mu had always liked animals, she had never properly raised one. She’d mentioned it to Jiang Yinghan when she was in middle school, but her mother had immediately shut it down. Jiang Yinghan was a meticulous person and didn’t allow the presence of pet hair or smells in their home. As a result, raising an animal was never an option in Jiang Yinghan’s world.
Now, living at Jin Qiang’s house, Jiang Mu felt like an outsider. She couldn’t imagine bringing a pet into the already complicated situation. She shook her head and said softly, “Thank you, but I don’t have anywhere to keep it.”
She then gently placed the little black puppy back by its mother. To her surprise, the little black dog immediately stumbled over, trying to crawl back to her. Even San Lai was taken aback by how insistent the puppy was.
Jiang Mu extended her finger to the little dog, and it immediately rested its tiny head on her finger. The soft touch sent a wave of warmth through her, making her heart ache with tenderness. The puppy’s innocence and affection stirred something deep inside her, and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy.
The glass door of the pet store was knocked twice. They both turned around and saw that Jin Chao had already packed Jiang Mu’s things into a backpack, holding it as he stood at the door and said to her, “Let’s go.”
San Lai suddenly bent down and said to Jiang Mu, “If you really want to keep one, there’s a place. Go talk to Youjiu.”
Jiang Mu looked up and glanced at San Lai, who smiled and winked at her.
When Jiang Mu left the pet store, she noticed that the garage door had been pulled down. Jin Chao placed Jiang Mu’s backpack in a car and then drove her back.
On the way, Jiang Mu glanced at Jin Chao several times, unsure of how to start a conversation. By the time she had gathered her thoughts, they had already arrived at the community where Jin Qiang lived.
Jin Chao drove the car into the community and parked it near the building. Turning off the engine, he said, “You’ve been looking at me the whole way, if you want to say something, go ahead.”
Jiang Mu hesitated before speaking, “I saw that golden retriever’s puppies in Brother San Lai’s shop just now.”
“Mm.”
“They’re quite cute.”
“…” Silence.
“There’s a little black dog,” Jiang Mu continued, “Brother San Lai said it had stopped breathing when it was born, and he saved it. I don’t know why, but it seems like Xishi doesn’t really like it.”
“…” Silence again.
Seeing that Jin Chao was unresponsive, Jiang Mu muttered to herself, “Don’t you think it’s really pitiful?”
Only then did Jin Chao speak up, “You’re moved by a story he made up? Why don’t you ask him how he saved it, artificial respiration?”
Jiang Mu hadn’t actually thought of that, and Jin Chao turned to her, saying lightly, “Want to keep one?”
He had seen through her thoughts so clearly that it made Jiang Mu a little hesitant to look at him. She nodded and quietly asked, “Is it okay?”
Jin Chao opened the car door and got out. Jiang Mu followed, and they stood by the car. Jin Chao, leaning against a decayed tree trunk, lit a cigarette. The moonlight was cool, and his figure appeared somewhat distant. His voice, neither too close nor too far, reached her, “He’s got four puppies. Two decent ones have already been reserved, but the other two can’t be sold. He’ll give you one, and you can keep it with me. He’ll have someone cover the cost of dog food and grooming for him. Are you really that naive?”
Jiang Mu froze for a moment. She hadn’t expected that approach. She slung her backpack over her shoulder, holding the bag with the school uniform in her hand.
It seemed that Jin Chao wasn’t planning to go upstairs. He threw the house key at her over the car. Jiang Mu caught it and asked, “When do I return this to you?”
Jin Chao took a drag from his cigarette and replied, “I won’t have time to come back recently, just keep it for now.”
Jiang Mu nodded, took a few steps, and then suddenly turned around to ask, “What if… I pay for all the dog food and grooming costs and temporarily keep it at your place. Is that okay?”
Jin Chao turned his head and scoffed, then suddenly became serious. He said, “And after you graduate? Are you planning to take the dog with you, or just abandon it?”
Jiang Mu didn’t answer, because she hadn’t even figured out what she should do after the college entrance exams.
Jin Chao slowly continued, “Since you’ll eventually leave, I advise you not to raise it. It’ll be troublesome if you get attached.”
Jiang Mu stood still, feeling her whole body burning, not because of the dog, but because of Jin Chao’s words. Was this really how he felt?
Since they had already separated back then, why bother with unnecessary ties?
Since they weren’t siblings, why stay connected?
The more they stayed in touch, the more feelings developed, and that only led to trouble?
Jiang Mu’s expression grew cold, and she stopped insisting. She simply murmured, “Mm.”
After that, she turned around and walked briskly toward the building, her chest feeling tight. Jin Chao called after her from behind, “Hey.”
Jiang Mu stopped in her tracks, turned around, and shouted at him, “Don’t I have a name? Why do you keep calling me ‘hey’? My name is not ‘hey’!”
Jin Chao looked at her flushed face through the night, his lips curving into a slight smile, “You’re this worked up over not being able to keep a dog? Are you really that fond of that scruffy dog?”
Jiang Mu responded solemnly, “It’s not a scruffy dog, it’s a pitiful creature that neither the father wants nor the mother cares about.”
Jin Chao’s expression gradually turned cold, turning completely emotionless. Jiang Mu felt an overwhelming sense of suffocation from the oppressive atmosphere. She avoided his gaze, wanting to escape, but before she entered the building, she stopped. She knew her words had touched on the most sensitive part of their relationship. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him and weakly said, “I’m not disappointed in you. If I am, there’s only one reason: you cut off contact with me.”
Jiang Mu’s figure disappeared into the building, but Jin Chao remained, still standing there for a long time. Deep furrows formed between his brows. Over the years, he had grown used to the disappointment people felt toward him. Almost everyone he had once known now looked at him with concealed ridicule, sympathy, and disappointment, and he had long since become numb to it.
He hadn’t expected anyone to tell him they weren’t disappointed in him, or rather, that her disappointment had nothing to do with his current state.
A bitter smile spread across Jin Chao’s lips as he deeply inhaled a cigarette. The painful past swirled into smoke and filled his lungs, leaving a bitter aftertaste in his chest.
After a long time, he finally got in the car and drove back. San Lai was still sitting in the reclining chair in front of the store, playing a game. When he saw Jin Chao return, he casually glanced at him and asked, “You were gone for so long?”
Jin Chao didn’t respond. He walked over, tossed him a cigarette, and asked, “When is that dog weaning?”
San Lai laughed mischievously, immediately quit the game, stood up, and said, “A dog tested you out, how did you repay evil with kindness? Little Sister actually dealt with you with just a few words, which really surprised me.”
Jin Chao glared at him impatiently, “Are you bored?”
San Lai put the cigarette between his ears and kicked a bench to him. Jin Chao sat a few steps away from San Lai, with his long legs bent casually.
He heard him say, “I’m really bored to death. They watched you die without saving you back then. If it were me, I would definitely not be so righteous.”
Jin Chao lowered his head and flipped through his phone without saying anything. San Lai continued, “I really didn’t expect your legendary little sister to be so pretty, with a small nose, a small mouth, and two watery eyes. No wonder you’ve been thinking think about her all along. She actually has no relationship with you. If I were you, I would get her to disgust her mother. Who wouldn’t be a Liangshan hero? If you can’t do it, I’ll do it for you. “
Jin Chao’s eyes were still on the drawings on his phone, and he was looking at a certain corner. His tone was casual with a hint of chill, “Try to touch her if you dare.”
San Lai lay on the recliner and laughed exaggeratedly, “F*ck, do you take it seriously? Am I stupid? If I make her into my people, wouldn’t I lose a potential customer who will apply for a card? I will personally deliver it to you as soon as the black dog is weaned. Do you want to charge 5,000 yuan to apply for a supreme VIP? “
“Get lost.”
“…”