Chapter 3
Jiang Mu didn’t know why Jin Chao had gotten out of the car. She simply waited quietly inside, and soon he returned, holding a pack of newly bought cigarettes and a cup of water. He casually handed the water and straw to Jiang Mu, and she quickly sat up straight, accepting it with both hands, saying, “Thank you.”
Her overly polite gesture made Jin Chao glance at her, but he didn’t say anything as he closed the car door.
The North isn’t as humid and hot as the South, but it’s still quite dry in the summer. Since boarding the train in Beijing, Jiang Mu hadn’t drunk any water. Perhaps it was because she was about to meet her long-separated family, and she hadn’t slept well the night before. She’d been anxious all the way, forgetting about this need, and her throat remained hoarse when she spoke to Jin Chao.
Now, Jin Chao had specifically stopped the car on the side of the road to buy her a drink, which made Jiang Mu feel a little embarrassed. She even wondered if he had bought the pack of cigarettes just to cover up the awkwardness.
She lowered her head, inserted the straw into the milk tea, and the cool taste slid down her throat, bringing her relief and making her squint her eyes in enjoyment. It was her favorite strawberry milkshake.
The taste immediately triggered a memory, and she vaguely remembered how much she loved strawberries when she was younger. Once, Jin Chao had taken her to an old lady’s house, where there was a small plot of artificial strawberries. They weren’t very big, almost like wild strawberries, but they were incredibly sweet. Jin Chao had taken off his jacket and took a bunch of them away.
Later, they sat on the grass in the back mountain, and Jin Chao handed her the strawberries. She held up one that she had bitten into and said, “Big Brother, the ones in the back aren’t sweet.”
Jin Chao carelessly took it and said, “I’ll eat the ones that aren’t sweet.”
Thinking about the fun memories of childhood, Jiang Mu couldn’t help but smile. After starting the car, Jin Chao glanced at her sideways and asked, “What are you smiling about?”
Jiang Mu lowered her head and sipped on the strawberry milkshake, her smile gradually fading as she remembered that day after the sun had set. Jin Chao had held her hand and led her home, but the old lady had already found their house. Jin Qiang had insisted that his two children hadn’t stolen any strawberries, but in the blink of an eye, they saw the bright red strawberry stains on Jin Chao’s clothes. Jin Qiang could only apologize profusely to the old lady.
That night, Jiang Yinghan got really angry and scolded Jin Chao for leading his sister astray. Today it was stealing strawberries, and tomorrow would he be stealing money too?
She saw Jin Chao holding his neck stubbornly, not the slightest bit remorseful. In a fit of rage, Jiang Yinghan grabbed the drying clothes pole and swung it hard at his arm. Although it was Jin Chao who was being punished, Jiang Mu cried even harder than he did. Later that night, she quietly snuck into her brother’s room, hugged his arm, and gently blew on it, asking if it hurt. But she remembered that Jin Chao never made a sound, only telling her, “We can’t go eat strawberries tomorrow. When we grow up and I make money, I’ll buy you some big ones.”
Jiang Mu picked up the memories from the past as she drank her strawberry milkshake, feeling a mix of emotions. It was as if the taste of the milkshake had become slightly sour.
She turned her head and asked, “Is this your car?”
Jin Chao’s hand, resting on the steering wheel, paused for a moment before he replied, “No.”
Jiang Mu asked this question mainly to probe into how Jin Chao’s life was now, so she followed up with another question, “Are you still in school?”
He answered with two words, “No.”
“Did you just graduate this year, or…?”
Jiang Mu didn’t know how to ask further. Jin Chao seemed to hear her concerns and cautiousness, and told her directly, “I didn’t go to university after graduating from high school.”
This sentence made Jiang Mu’s heart fall to the bottom. She had imagined many possibilities, including that she might not see Jin Chao this time. He might still be studying in another place, but she never expected such an answer. She remembered that Jin Chao was very smart when he was a child. His father always looked so happy after the parent-teacher meeting. The house was full of Jin Chao’s Three Good Student Award certificate. He seemed to study without any effort. He had a lot of time to play football every day. He played until he was sweaty and fell asleep when he came back. But his grades were always among the best. His teachers said that he was a talented student, but why didn’t he study?
Jiang Mu was full of questions, but she had just arrived in this place and hadn’t seen each other for so many years. The unfamiliarity between them did not allow her to touch on those sensitive issues.
Not long after, the car turned into the city of the village, which was noticeably livelier than the outskirts. The streets were narrower and there were many motorcycles shuttling back and forth. Jiang Mu looked around with her eyes open. Suddenly, a motorcycle suddenly crossed in front of their car. Jiang Mu was so scared that the straw poked her mouth. Jin Chao stepped on the brakes, lowered the window, and cursed at the man, “Get lost!”
The man was large, with a shaved head, thick eyebrows like Guan Yu’s, and deep lines on his face that looked like the number “eight” was carved into his skin. Jiang Mu rarely saw anyone with such a terrifying appearance. She instinctively tightened her grip on the seatbelt. However, after being cursed at, the man didn’t get angry. Instead, he smiled and shouted at Jin Chao, “Want to drink tonight?”
Jin Chao replied coldly, “Drink your damn piss.”
The man swerved his motorcycle, riding right up beside their car. He leaned down and said, “What’s the matter with you? Have you been taking something?”
As soon as the man finished speaking, he noticed the young girl sitting in the passenger seat and his eyes lit up. He raised his eyebrows and teased, “Oh, Youjiu, who’s this little sister?”
Jin Chao ignored him, but the man kept talking, “Aren’t you afraid that Xiao Qingshe will cause trouble with you?”
Jin Chao simply rolled up the window and drove off. Only then did Jiang Mu relax, she had almost thought Jin Chao was about to get into a confrontation. But soon, she realized something.
She asked, “Is that person your friend?”
Jin Chao just grunted in response, and Jiang Mu fell silent. Her gaze dropped as her mind churned with questions. He had dropped out after high school, and now it seemed like he was surrounded by some unreliable friends. After leaving Suzhou, what kind of life had Jin Chao been living? Everything about him was now a mystery, lingering in her mind.
She asked again, “Why did he call you ‘Youjiu‘?”
Jin Chao glanced at her but didn’t answer the question.
Soon, the car drove into a cramped residential area. After making several turns, Jin Chao parked the car on the curb, even though there were parking spots.
After the car engine was turned off, Jin Chao suddenly leaned over and asked her, “Is it broken?”
As the sky grew darker, the light inside the car became dim. Jin Chao’s figure suddenly moved closer, causing Jiang Mu to feel inexplicably nervous. She turned her gaze to meet his, and her heart skipped a beat when she noticed the faint scar above his left eyebrow. Her heart skipped a beat in an instant. Though his features were now sharper and more mature than when he was younger, and it seemed hard to find traces of the past in him, the scar remained because of her. It was a reminder of a long-ago event, one that her father had told her about. When she was just over a year old, she fell off the bed, and in an attempt to catch her, Jin Chao’s face crashed into the glass surface of the bedside table, leaving a deep wound that bled profusely.
Since she could remember, there had always been that faint scar on his brow. She hadn’t noticed it much before, but now, it somehow made his appearance even more mischievous and sinister.
Jiang Mu stared at the scar, as if, for the first time, she had found something familiar in the present-day Jin Chao. The strong sense of recognition nearly took her breath away, and she almost felt like crying.
Jin Chao’s gaze lingered on her lips. Upon closer inspection, he saw that the straw had indeed left a small cut, causing her bottom lip to be slightly swollen and red, which reminded him of cherries. He quickly pushed the thought away and furrowed his brow. Only now did he seem to realize that the little girl who used to love being spoiled and a bit headstrong had grown into a graceful young woman. It felt a little inappropriate to keep staring at her, so Jin Chao straightened up and moved away from her. But as he did, he caught sight of the almost tearful look on her face, and suddenly, he spoke up, “His name is Jin Fengzi.”
Jiang Mu was confused by his words and turned to ask, “Who is Jin Fengzi?”
Jin Chao rested his hands on the steering wheel and smiled faintly, “The guy from just now.”
“Who? Guan Gong?”
(Guan Gong – a famous general in the late Han Dynasty with a fierce face)
Jin Chao was momentarily stunned, and the faint smile on his lips widened slightly, “That’s him. Next time you see him, have him punch you. Alright, I’m leaving.”
Jiang Mu, still confused, opened the car door without realizing that Jin Chao thought she was upset because of her busted lip.
Jin Chao took out her luggage from the trunk, and as they walked through the area, Jiang Mu couldn’t help but notice the unpleasant stench coming from the few large trash bins piled together. This place hadn’t yet implemented waste sorting. She held her breath, but Jin Chao glanced at the bins and said, “Suzhou’s development has been pretty good, hasn’t it?”
Jiang Mu didn’t know how to respond. There was indeed a noticeable difference, but this was also Jin Chao’s home, so she didn’t want to appear condescending and simply replied, “It’s okay.”
Jin Chao led the way, adding, “If you can’t get used to it, just let me know.”
Jiang Mu didn’t quite understand what he meant, but as she followed him into the building, the stark contrast was undeniable. The strong sense of discomfort lingered in her mind.
The walls of the hallway were cracked, with parts of the plaster peeling off. On the second floor, even the handrails were missing, exposing the bare steel rebar. The passageway was narrow, and at one of the doors, a large jar was placed outside, making the already cramped and dimly lit hallway feel even more suffocating.
This place resembled the old neighborhood they used to live in when they were kids, but that was many years ago. She and her mother had moved into a new apartment with an elevator, spacious balconies, and floor-to-ceiling windows. The neighborhood was green and well-kept, with complete amenities. In contrast, it felt like Jin Chao’s life had been on pause, stuck in the past decade without any change. The thought made Jiang Mu feel a bit of sadness.
Jin Chao climbed to the fifth floor in one go, carrying the suitcase with ease. In contrast, Jiang Mu was already out of breath. He glanced at her and shook his head with a smile, saying, “How is it that a few flights of stairs have exhausted you like this?”
“Yeah, it feels like I just climbed a mountain,” she replied.
“Your physical condition could use some improvement,” Jin Chao commented.
Jiang Mu, still catching her breath, asked, “How come you can climb stairs without even getting exhausted?”
Jin Chao pulled out his keys and said, “It’s something I’ve trained for.”
Without thinking, Jiang Mu blurted out, “What, did you train by carrying your little sister?”
Both of them froze for a moment. Their old apartment in Suzhou had been on the fourth floor, and when they were younger, Jiang Mu loved to ask her brother to carry her up the stairs. She’d wrap her arms around his neck, swinging her little feet beside him. Jin Chao would always carry her up the stairs in one go, their laughter echoing through the building. It had almost become a game between them.
After learning that Jin Chao had a new little sister, Jiang Mu had had the same dream several times. In those dreams, Jin Chao was carrying his new little sister up the stairs, while she stood outside the building, helpless. The feeling of being abandoned was overwhelming and painful.
It was perhaps this subconscious thought that caused Jiang Mu to blurt out her words. The moment she said it, she regretted it. She looked at Jin Chao helplessly, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he quietly unlocked the door and opened it.
As the door swung open, Jiang Mu felt like she had stepped into another world, one that was completely unfamiliar to her, a world that belonged to someone else, to a family she didn’t recognize.
Translator’s Note:
Youjiu – Jin Chao’s nickname among his friends. The name directly translates to “have alcohol” in English.